All Women's Talk

7 Things to do when He Wants a Baby and You Don't ...

By Alicia

It’s a very difficult place for your relationship to be in when he wants a baby and you don’t. It’s important to work through this issue for the health of your relationship. These are some things you can do when you’re in this situation. I hope one of them is the answer you’re searching for.

1 Do Some Deep Thinking

One thing that’s a good idea to do when he wants a baby and you don’t is to do some deep thinking. Is this how you truly feel? Is it how you feel because of the place you’re at in life or it’s how you’re going to feel permanently? There’s not a right or wrong answer here but you do want to carefully evaluate your feelings.

2 Talk about It

It’s important to talk about this subject with your guy. Discuss the reasons that you don’t want children. It can help him to understand your point of view. Even if he isn’t in agreement, it may help him see where you’re coming from. Sometimes this helps you to find agreement or come to a compromise.

3 Agree to Think about It

If it’s really important to him then agree to think about it. You never know; you could change your mind. Of course you should never have a child if you aren’t sure that you want one. It’s a lifetime commitment that you should only make if you’re certain about it. But thinking about it is a good thing to do. It’ll help you to be more certain how you feel about the subject, either way.

4 Point out the Benefits of Not Having Children

It may be good to point out the benefits of not having children to your guy. He may not have considered them. He may not realize what a deep level of commitment it takes to be a parent. Point out that you have freedom and finances now that you most likely won’t have once you become parents. He may come to see your point.

5 Work toward a Common Goal

If you do want children but just not right now then help him to see that. Work toward a common goal. Maybe you want to finish college before you have a baby. That’s actually a wise decision. It could be that you want to get to a certain place in your finances before you take that step. Help him to see what you need to have happen before you agree to having a baby.

6 Help Him See Some Blind Spots

It’s easy for anyone to have some blind spots when it comes to a subject they feel passionately about. Help him to see how a baby will affect his life. Maybe it would mean no more poker nights because it would keep the baby up. It might mean no more season tickets to watch his favorite team because the money will be needed for other things. This may make him change his mind.

7 Reevaluate Your Relationship

Having strong, differing viewpoints on this subject is a big deal. If you can’t come to a place of agreement then it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re dating then you may want to consider seeing other people. This is something you need to be in agreement on before you marry. You’ll need to decide if you can work through this in your relationship.

These are 7 things you can do when he wants a baby and you don’t. I hope some of these points have been helpful to you. What are your thoughts on this subject?

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