7 Things to do when He Wants a Baby and You Dont ...

7 Things to do when He Wants a Baby and You Dont ...
By Alicia • Oct 19, 2025

It’s a very difficult place for your relationship to be in when he wants a baby and you don’t. It’s important to work through this issue for the health of your relationship. These are some things you can do when you’re in this situation. I hope one of them is the answer you’re searching for.

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1. Do Some Deep Thinking

One thing that’s a good idea to do when he wants a baby and you don’t is to do some deep thinking. Is this how you truly feel? Is it how you feel because of the place you’re at in life or it’s how you’re going to feel permanently? There’s not a right or wrong answer here but you do want to carefully evaluate your feelings.

***

When making this decision, it's important to consider your current life situation and if it's something that will be permanent. It's also important to talk to your partner and come to an understanding of each other's feelings. There are a few other things you can do to help make the decision. Consider talking to a counselor or therapist to help you work through your feelings. Research the pros and cons of having a baby. Talk to other couples who have gone through the same decision-making process. Lastly, take time to reflect and consider how having a baby would change your life.

  • First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.

  • Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.

  • Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.

  • Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.

  • If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.

2. Talk about It

It’s important to talk about this subject with your guy. Discuss the reasons that you don’t want children. It can help him to understand your point of view. Even if he isn’t in agreement, it may help him see where you’re coming from. Sometimes this helps you to find agreement or come to a compromise.

***

It is not uncommon for couples to disagree on the issue of having children. In fact, it is estimated that 1 in 5 couples in the United States are childless by choice. Deciding to have children is a big decision and one that should not be taken lightly.

When one partner wants a baby and the other does not, it is important for both parties to talk openly and honestly about their feelings. Communication is key to any successful relationship and it is important to discuss the reasons why one partner does not want to have children.

It is also important to consider the implications of having a child. Raising a child is a huge responsibility and it can be emotionally and financially draining. It is important to consider all of the potential costs of having a child, such as childcare, education, and medical expenses.

Additionally, it is important to consider the impact that having a child will have on the couple’s relationship. Having a baby will inevitably change the dynamic of the relationship and it is important to be prepared for the changes that may come.

  • First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.

  • Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.

  • Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.

  • Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.

  • If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.

3. Agree to Think about It

If it’s really important to him then agree to think about it. You never know; you could change your mind. Of course you should never have a child if you aren’t sure that you want one. It’s a lifetime commitment that you should only make if you’re certain about it. But thinking about it is a good thing to do. It’ll help you to be more certain how you feel about the subject, either way.

***

When considering whether or not to have a child, it is important to be sure of your decision. Agreeing to think about it is a good way to gain clarity on how you feel. It is important to remember that having a child is a lifetime commitment and it is not a decision to be taken lightly. It is also important to consider the financial implications of having a child, as well as the emotional and physical toll it can take on parents. Talking to other parents, as well as seeking professional advice, can help you to make an informed decision.

  • First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.

  • Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.

  • Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.

  • Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.

  • If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.

4. Point out the Benefits of Not Having Children

It may be good to point out the benefits of not having children to your guy. He may not have considered them. He may not realize what a deep level of commitment it takes to be a parent. Point out that you have freedom and finances now that you most likely won’t have once you become parents. He may come to see your point.

***

Having children is a major life decision that should not be taken lightly. It is important to consider the financial, emotional, and physical implications of having a child. Not having children can provide couples with more freedom and financial stability, allowing them to focus on their own personal goals and dreams. Couples without children can also enjoy more time together, as they are not responsible for the care of another person. Additionally, not having children can provide more opportunities for travel and leisure activities. It is important for couples to weigh the pros and cons of having children before making a decision.

  • First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.

  • Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.

  • Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.

  • Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.

  • If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.

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5. Work toward a Common Goal

If you do want children but just not right now then help him to see that. Work toward a common goal. Maybe you want to finish college before you have a baby. That’s actually a wise decision. It could be that you want to get to a certain place in your finances before you take that step. Help him to see what you need to have happen before you agree to having a baby.

***

It is important to remember that both partners should be on the same page when it comes to having children. Having a baby is a big commitment and it is important that both partners are ready and willing to take on the responsibility. There are many factors to consider, such as the financial and emotional implications of having a baby. It is important to talk openly and honestly about these issues and to work together to find a solution that works for both of you. While it is important to take into account the desires of both partners, it is also important to make sure that the decision is made in the best interests of the child. It is important to seek professional advice if needed and to make sure that both partners are comfortable with the decision.

  • First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.

  • Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.

  • Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.

  • Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.

  • If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.

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6. Help Him See Some Blind Spots

It’s easy for anyone to have some blind spots when it comes to a subject they feel passionately about. Help him to see how a baby will affect his life. Maybe it would mean no more poker nights because it would keep the baby up. It might mean no more season tickets to watch his favorite team because the money will be needed for other things. This may make him change his mind.

***

If your partner is passionate about having a baby but you are not, it’s important to help him see the blind spots in his perspective. Talk about the practicalities of having a baby, such as the financial implications, the time it takes to look after a baby, and the impact it will have on your daily life. Explain that the baby will need a lot of attention and care and that this will mean having to give up activities that you both enjoy, such as poker nights or season tickets. Let him know that you understand his desire for a baby but also make sure he understands the full implications of having a child.

  • First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.

  • Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.

  • Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.

  • Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.

  • If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.

7. Reevaluate Your Relationship

Having strong, differing viewpoints on this subject is a big deal. If you can’t come to a place of agreement then it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re dating then you may want to consider seeing other people. This is something you need to be in agreement on before you marry. You’ll need to decide if you can work through this in your relationship.

These are 7 things you can do when he wants a baby and you don’t. I hope some of these points have been helpful to you. What are your thoughts on this subject?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

i agree w Cris. i really wanna read that article, cant find it thou :-(

What about when we want one and a man doesn't 😆

i agree w Cris. i really wanna read and translate that article, cant find it thou :-(

Cris: that was a previous article. :)

His 26 I’m 19 and he keeps pushing for it like I just deep down don’t want kids but it’s like that 5% chance I want one I’m young I just wanna live lol

What about when you already have two, 30 this year and don't want more but he does 😭

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