Many women feel guilty about being a working mom. Mothers who work are often criticised by others as well - yet there's never a word said against working fathers! But whether the criticism is coming from yourself or from other people, you should not feel bad about going to work when you have children. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't feel guilty about being a working mom …
By being a working mom, it could be said that you're actually setting a good example to your children. You're showing them the importance of earning a living, and that life isn't all fun. When they grow up they'll have to go out to work, and if from an early age they see you doing a paid job they'll begin to see this as perfectly normal.
It's upsetting if you have to work to pay the bills, when you'd rather be at home with your kids. And if you actually want to work, you may get criticised by outsiders for not being a full-time mom. But if you're working you're helping support your family (and if you don't work, you're still doing an important job - just not a paid one).
Obviously the welfare of your kids is important. But you're more than 'just a mom'. Many women don't enjoy being a full-time parent and prefer to spend some time in the adult world. There's nothing wrong with that; every person has to do what's right for them.
Unfortunately, taking a career break to raise your kids does have an impact on your career. Many women find it difficult to get back into work after child-raising, and if they do find a job it's often low-paid work. Going back to work after having a baby means that your career won't suffer as much. And women do need to think about their own future - you can't depend on a partner.
Sometimes it seems that women are judged by others whatever they do. If they stay home with their kids, they're lazy and expecting to be kept by their partner. If they do work, then they're farming their poor kids off to someone else and putting their career first. You can't do right in the eyes of others, so why worry about what they think?
Being cared for by someone else can be very good for children, as it teaches them to be sociable and gets them used to different people. Some kids can be clingy if they're only used to being with their mom. So being with a paid carer, be it nursery or a childminder, or being cared for by a grandparent can be beneficial for them.
You have to choose the right option for you - and if that's working, then fair enough. If you're not happy being a full-time mom, then your kids won't be happy either. You'll be a better parent if your other needs are met.
Don't feel bad about being a working mom. As long as your kids have a good carer they will be fine. Feeling guilty won't help, especially if you have no choice but to work. Were you brought up by a stay-at-home mom, or one that went out to work?
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