Why Working Moms Should Never Feel Guilty ...

Alison Aug 30, 2014

Many women feel guilty about being a working mom. Mothers who work are often criticised by others as well - yet there's never a word said against working fathers! But whether the criticism is coming from yourself or from other people, you should not feel bad about going to work when you have children. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't feel guilty about being a working mom …

1. Good Example

By being a working mom, it could be said that you're actually setting a good example to your children. You're showing them the importance of earning a living, and that life isn't all fun. When they grow up they'll have to go out to work, and if from an early age they see you doing a paid job they'll begin to see this as perfectly normal.

2. Helping Support Your Family

It's upsetting if you have to work to pay the bills, when you'd rather be at home with your kids. And if you actually want to work, you may get criticised by outsiders for not being a full-time mom. But if you're working you're helping support your family (and if you don't work, you're still doing an important job - just not a paid one).

3. Not Just a Mom

Obviously the welfare of your kids is important. But you're more than 'just a mom'. Many women don't enjoy being a full-time parent and prefer to spend some time in the adult world. There's nothing wrong with that; every person has to do what's right for them.

4. Career Matters

Unfortunately, taking a career break to raise your kids does have an impact on your career. Many women find it difficult to get back into work after child-raising, and if they do find a job it's often low-paid work. Going back to work after having a baby means that your career won't suffer as much. And women do need to think about their own future - you can't depend on a partner.

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5. Damned if You do …

Sometimes it seems that women are judged by others whatever they do. If they stay home with their kids, they're lazy and expecting to be kept by their partner. If they do work, then they're farming their poor kids off to someone else and putting their career first. You can't do right in the eyes of others, so why worry about what they think?

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6. Childcare Can Be Beneficial

Being cared for by someone else can be very good for children, as it teaches them to be sociable and gets them used to different people. Some kids can be clingy if they're only used to being with their mom. So being with a paid carer, be it nursery or a childminder, or being cared for by a grandparent can be beneficial for them.

7. Do What's Right for You

You have to choose the right option for you - and if that's working, then fair enough. If you're not happy being a full-time mom, then your kids won't be happy either. You'll be a better parent if your other needs are met.

Don't feel bad about being a working mom. As long as your kids have a good carer they will be fine. Feeling guilty won't help, especially if you have no choice but to work. Were you brought up by a stay-at-home mom, or one that went out to work?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

About to go back to work after having my baby. She's only 20monthd old and i'm nervous about leaving her but we need the income and i really need to get out of my house! I love my baby but i need my adult life back too to feel normal again. So happy this has been posted, 2 days before i start work!

@shannon, if you are too independent for a man to take care of you then why have one?

My mum had 6 of us kids, she only went back to work when the youngest of us started primary school. I think it's great to be able to stay home as long as you can, but also working does give you "adult time" and a bit more independence to do things. Shannon I don't think your two friends would appreciate what you've said about them, acting like D-Child wrote Independent Women for you??? Take a seat. Lol

This probably my FAVORITE post since having this app, I'm a full time working mom and I love it!!!! I won't depend on my husband to take care of me cause let's face it men do leave not that I don't trust my husband but I'm not naive either. I enjoy my time with other adults and helping financially in my house hold . I have two friends that are stay at home moms who complain , house is a mess, stopped having sex with their husbands , want to party on wknds cause they feel boxed in thru the week. Now that's my friends not ALL stay at home moms are like that , I'm to independent to allow a man to " take care of me"

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