7 Tips for when Your Partner is Jealous of Your Child ...

By Alison

7 Tips for when Your Partner is Jealous of Your Child ...

When you're a parent and start a new relationship, it can be very difficult when your partner is jealous of your child. They may resent the fact that someone else has a claim on your time and affection. But is it ever understandable, or does it indicate that the relationship is doomed? Here are some tips for when your partner is jealous of your child …

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1 Your Child Comes First

When your partner is jealous of your child, one thing is clear: your child should always come first. Anyone who can't accept that shouldn't be in your life. Your children are your responsibility and will be until they grow up. Even then, anyone who doesn't understand how important your children are in your life doesn't deserve your time.

2 Time to Adapt

Your partner may need some time to adapt; perhaps they have not been in a relationship with someone who has children, or doesn't have children of their own. They're coming into an existing family unit and have to fit in to that family. They may be very conscious that they're not yet part of the family, and as such feel an outsider.

3 Time Together

Perhaps your partner needs to spend more time with your children. Including your partner in some of the family outings should help them to feel part of the family and also allow them to get to know your children better. If they have any interests in common with your children, such as sporting activities, encourage them to enjoy those interests together.

4 More Children?

If your partner is showing signs of being jealous of your children, it's not the time to think about having more children together. Bringing more children into the family risks creating even more of a divide, as your partner will most likely treat their own biological child very differently - and this is not fair on your older children.

Updated on 5/25/2023

When a partner is jealous of a child, it can be a difficult and uncomfortable situation to navigate. It can be hard to know how to handle the situation, and it is important to take the time to understand the underlying issues that are causing the jealousy.

It is important to remember that jealousy can be rooted in insecurity and fear, and it is important to be patient and understanding when trying to help your partner work through these feelings. It is also important to be honest and open with your partner about your feelings and expectations in the relationship.

It is also essential to recognize that having more children is not always the best solution to the problem of jealousy. Bringing more children into the family can create an even greater divide between your partner and your existing children, as your partner may be more likely to favor their own biological child over the others. This is not only unfair to your older children, but can also be damaging to the relationship between your partner and your children.

5 Parental Role

Any step-parent will have heard the cry of 'You're not my father!', which may create more resentment in a jealous partner. But they should not take the parental role, especially if they have not been in your lives for long. They do not have the right to discipline your children simply because they are an adult. They're entitled to respect, but discipline should be your responsibility alone.

6 Don't Cave in

When you're been a single parent, meeting a new partner can lead you to try anything to keep them. It's tough raising kids alone. But beware of compromising just to keep the relationship; your children should always come first. Don't give in to signs of jealousy just to keep the peace.

7 Do You Have a Future?

Finally, if your partner can't get over their jealousy, consider if you have a future together. Your children's needs should always be a priority. Of course you want love and companionship, and you're entitled to it - but a jealous partner is not the best person for you or your children.

It's definitely possible for a jealous partner to get over their feelings and become a loved step-parent. It's a difficult adjustment for everyone. But someone who thinks that they are more important than your children is not worth having in your life. Have you had to deal with a jealous step-parent?

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Very good article!

OMG ... Where was this advice 10'years ago? I had to move on from someone because he was so jealous of my son.... Very sad ... My son would tell me mommy he doesn't like at 6 years old.. Would break my heart.. So glad I let him go...


#1 to a certain extent but you also show the example of having a good relationship. It needs to be a balance of showing them to live there life and taking care them. I think the age is a big factor in this.

Yes and I'm getting tired of it. Basically her ex only comes around when he wants to pick up his child and I'm expected to put my kids away to satisfy her. Im a single dad and im getting so tired of this. Im not sure what else to do and she fights so dirty. Tells me they might not even be my kids all the time. I have three kids total but that's not a crime they are older should I make life fair for her and let her go. We've been dating for almost three years she has one kid of her own. I never pin my kids on her and I'm financially stable. Should I leave her to give her so I stop hindering her life? She told me last night she wishes she had a met a guy with no kids then she would never have problems... I'd pick my 10kids over her any day. I protect my kids and will never let anyone harm them. It's not a crime is it? I didn't grow up thinking I want to be a single dad with three kids? Help me understand I will answer all questions honestly

#1 At the same time, don't be mad if we(guys) don't put both of you at our priority either. Can't have it both ways

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