7 Ways to Help Your Child through Your Divorce ...

Aprille

7 Ways to Help Your Child through Your Divorce ...
7 Ways to Help Your Child through Your Divorce ...

If there was a way to prevent divorce from ever occurring, I wish someone would find it. Divorce can be quite an ugly experience for everyone involved. I think kids actually get the worst part of the deal, since they often feel stuck in the middle of the situation. If you have a child and have recently been through a divorce, then these 7 ways to help your child through your divorce might be useful.

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7

Don’t Put Your Kid in the Middle

Kids are usually tough little beings and seem to bounce back quickly from many negative experiences. However, you should never put your child in the middle of a divorce. Using your child to get to your ex is harming your child much more than it is your ex or soon to be ex. Don’t try to talk your child into playing favorites or choosing sides. This will only result in causing your child to resent you, your ex, or both.

6

Answer Question They Might Have

There are plenty of questions kids have when parents go their separate ways. Sit down and talk to your child about any questions he/she might have. Answer these questions without being negative or over-exaggerating the facts. Depending on the age of the child, you might have to phrase answers in a simple manner at first and then elaborate when he/she becomes much older. Just be truthful and nice.

5

Spend Quality Time Together

One of the best things you can do to show your support for your child is to spend plenty of time with him/her. Go to the park, go out for dinner, take a picnic lunch and eat it out in the yard, or just watch a movie together that you both can laugh at. Even if all you do is sit quietly or read books together, this is beneficial to you both.

4

Don’t Bad-mouth the Other Parent

Bad-mouthing your ex is a tactic that tends to backfire on many parents. It might not happen right away, but bad-mouthing is another thing that can lead to resentment. It’s best to allow your child to form his/her own opinions. Don’t let him/her grow up being force-fed what you believe. It’s not fair to your ex to take away the love that your child feels for him/her. If you feel you need to rant to a friend, make sure your child isn’t within earshot.

3

Let Them Know It Isn’t Their Fault

Kids often feel that divorce is their fault. They think that if they had been better behaved that the divorce wouldn’t have happened at all. Reassure your child that the divorce is between you and your spouse and has nothing to do with anything your child has done. Kids sometimes feel that the other parent doesn’t want them and that is why he/she is leaving. Let your child know that you both still love him/her with all your heart.

2

Stick to a Routine

Having a routine of any kind will keep you both occupied. Adults can usually adjust to being thrown out of a daily routine, but kids tend to need structure on a regular basis. Write out a schedule that you both can see if need be. Kids also get a kick out of being in charge, so maybe you could have your child remind you what comes next on the schedule you’ve made. This will help him/her feel like he/she has some say in what goes on each day and instill a sense of control.

1

Be a Good Listener

Sometimes your child just needs to be listened to. Of course, there are times when you have to listen to the unsaid statements as well. Watch your child’s body language and keep an eye out for sudden changes in behavior. Try to stop and listen when your child needs to talk; don’t tell him/her to wait until there is a better time for you. Stop and listen right away. You might not have another chance to hear what your child has to say at that moment. The sooner they can get issues out in the open, the quicker the bad feelings will pass.

These 7 ways to help your child through your divorce are also handy to individuals who are about to go through a divorce settlement. I’ve had a couple of friends who were an excellent source of information for many of these tips I posted above. I hope you can find at least some of these to be helpful to you. Do you have any other suggestions of ways to help a child in a divorce situation?

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