7 Tips if Your Parents Are Telling You How to Raise Your Kids ...

Alison

7 Tips if Your Parents Are Telling You How to Raise Your Kids ...
7 Tips if Your Parents Are Telling You How to Raise Your Kids ...

What are some useful tips if your parents are telling you how to raise your kids? Parents often offer well-meaning but unsolicited advice on parenting to their adult children. This can be useful, but may be annoying if you'd rather just raise your kids your own way. Try these tips if your parents are telling you how to raise your kids and you wish they wouldn't …

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1

Listen

The first of my tips if your parents are telling you how to raise your kids is to listen to them, even if their advice is driving you nuts. Sometimes it's easier than arguing with them, as they may be offended if you tell them to butt out. You can listen and nod for the sake of politeness, and then carry on doing things your way.

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In actively listening to your parents, you may find valuable nuggets of wisdom hidden within their guidance—even if it's wrapped in outdated practices or unsolicited feedback. Remember, they've been through the parenting trenches and their experiences, though different, can sometimes offer a fresh perspective or alternative solutions to problems. Acknowledge their intentions to help, which often stem from love and a desire to be involved. By keeping the communication lines open, you foster a supportive family environment, which can be beneficial for everyone, especially the kids.

2

Are They Right?

Even if your parents' advice is annoying you, consider if they have a point. After all, they managed to raise you well enough, so they must have some good ideas about parenting. Is it their advice that's annoying you, or is it that they're making you feel like they're telling you you're raising your kids the wrong way?

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It's important to take a step back and assess the situation with an open mind. Listen to their words without defensiveness, stripping away the emotional charge. Evaluate their suggestions practically: do any resonate with your parenting goals or do they offer insights that you hadn't considered? Chances are, amidst the advice there could be gems that might actually benefit you and your children. And remember, acknowledging the wisdom in their experience doesn't mean you have to follow their guidance to the letter; it's about finding a middle ground that respects their input while staying true to your principles.

3

Be Selective

Just because you don't want to follow your mom's advice on parenting to the letter doesn't mean that none of what she says is any good. Be selective and choose which advice you want to follow. Moms usually know quite a lot of useful things that they've learned through experience, so make the most of this resource and pick and choose.

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Take the time to acknowledge the wisdom in her words and differentiate it from outdated methods or personal preferences that don't align with your parenting style. Remember, accepting guidance isn't about compromising your values; it's about enriching your toolkit. Trust your intuition as a parent to integrate only what resonates with you and your child's needs. After all, raising kids takes a village, and every elder in that village, especially your mom, has at least one golden nugget of advice worth holding onto.

4

They're Your Kids

Ultimately your kids are your responsibility, and if your parents are really annoying you ask them to refrain. Point out that you're the mother of your children and will make all decisions on their welfare and upbringing. Unfortunately this risks antagonising them, as they may take offence.

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Communicating boundaries is essential, though tread lightly to maintain harmony. It's helpful to acknowledge their experience, but emphasize your need to nurture your children in a way that resonates with you. If they're open to discussion, suggest that you're looking for supportive guidance rather than direct intervention. Remind them lovingly that times have changed and parenting styles evolve. A heart-to-heart conversation can often alleviate tension, ensuring they feel respected while affirming your role as the primary caregiver.

5

Things Have Changed

Parenting has changed a lot, so what was standard advice when you were young may not be the case any more. Tell your parents that things have changed, and that experts recommend different advice now. Family lifestyles can also be very different from in the past, and if you bring up your kids in a way that works for you, that's your choice. Your parents might not approve, but as long as your kids are well cared for, that's your parents' problem.

6

Ask for Advice

You can also try deflecting the unsolicited advice by actually asking your parents what they think about certain aspects of bringing up children. If they feel that you value their opinion, they may forget to offer advice when you haven't asked for it. They might actually have some useful ideas that you can take advantage of.

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Turning the tables by seeking out their guidance on certain parenting topics not only shows respect for their experience, but it can also lead to meaningful conversations and exchange of ideas. It's important to be selective about the subjects you choose to discuss, ensuring they're areas where you genuinely value their input. This strategy can create a more balanced give-and-take relationship, where advice becomes a two-way street rather than a source of tension. This approach may also make them think twice before giving unsolicited advice, as they see you proactively involving them in your decision-making process.

7

Reduce Contact

If your parents are really interfering and trying to override your authority, then you may have to limit the contact you and your children have with them. This really is a last resort though and one you'll only want to use if they're making your life difficult.

Parents can be well-meaning when they give parenting advice to their own children, and they're probably not telling you you're doing something wrong. They just want to be helpful. So try not to get too annoyed by it. Do your parents treat you like you've never grown up?

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