I’ve done my share of refereeing over the years. Thankfully my boys are past the age of arguing over who gets which toy. They’ve finally learned what it means to share and compromise with one another. If you find yourself constantly in the middle of arguing kids, then you might be able to use the information posted below. Here are 8 tips on resolving fights between your children.
Intervene as soon as possible. If the quarrel is a mild one, then it’s a good idea to allow the kids to see if they can work things out on their own. However, if you can sense the confrontation becoming more intense or hear a desperate tone in one of the kid’s voice, then it’s a good idea to step in right away. Have the kids go to different parts of the house and take some time to cool down.
I’ve heard a few arguments start merely because of a simple misunderstanding. You won’t be able to resolve the conflict if you don’t know what it is even about, so find out before you jump into the argument.
A distraction can be all that is needed with very little children. An older child might want to play with a special toy that the baby has recently latched onto. Very small babies generally are content to hold onto whatever item they get their little hands on. So, if your toddler is distressed over the loss of his toy that the baby ended up with, you can turn the supposed dilemma into a happy situation by distracting the baby with a new toy and allowing the toddler to have his beloved toy back. Sometimes the toddler can be distracted with a new item instead of trying to get the baby to relinquish his grip on the toy.
Sharing is difficult at first for kids who were used to being the only child. Teach them how to take turns and to use other ways for determining who will get a particular item. Show them how to flip a coin or to play rock-paper-scissors. Little kids tend to enjoy using these ‘games’ to decide who will get to play with a certain toy first.
If you run into the room screaming and yelling just like the kids, you might only make matters worse. Additional hostility tends to cause tensions to raise even more, not calm things down. Remain calm and collected and try to be a helpful referee in the situation. Showing your kids that problems can be resolved without resorting to shouting or violent gestures is part of being a good role model for them.
Giving something special to one kid and not to the other is a prime example of how a parent or guardian can become the cause of a fight.
Be a neutral party in the situation. Taking sides is only going to make things worse. Talk things through so that both kids understand each other’s point of view on the matter. You may have to provide an explanation in your own words if there is a misunderstanding between the children, especially if one is very young.
Preventing an argument from breaking out in the first place is much better than having to listen to constant bickering. Let them know when they’ve made a good decision involving resolving their personal conflict with one another. Once your child knows how to resolve a situation on his own, there will most likely be less fights that require your intervention.
If you have any tips on resolving fights in households with lots of kids, I’d love to hear them. Out of these 8 tips on resolving fights between your children, have you used any of them in the past?
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