What's the importance of child training?
Child training is a duty that is delicate, mandatory and very stressful. While we all hope that it produces the best result for the future, that the child meets all our expectations and in turn takes care of us at old age, in some cases, the opposite is the case.
We have seen cases where kids who had little resources while they were young turn out to be very responsible, respected successful men in society, while others who had all they ever wanted turn out to become wayward. This goes a long way toward explaining that a lot of factors come into place, as regarding child training for a successful result.
I will make it bold here that every society built on sound principles becomes great while the ones established on greed or material things are bound to fail. Child training is a rigorous exercise. It takes time, resources, energy, emotions and hope in the process and therefore must be done with knowledge, decisiveness, precision and must be planned. Here's everything you need to know about the importance of child training.
I see child training as a business that is non-negotiable. You may choose to ignore it at your own peril. And doing it the wrong way bears the same result often as choosing not to do it. The result of the investment is not certain but it is a responsibility nature places on us as parents, whether we are single fathers or mothers, mature or not, rich or poor, together or separated.
Once you have a child, you have become a parent and this business of nurturing and training becomes yours no matter how much you want to separate yourself from it. Once this call comes your way, your emotions get invested without your permission and the journey starts. So if you don’t want to be involved, don’t get started, but I can assure it is a pleasant journey when correctly engaged. The following tips will help you as a parent, whether together or separated.
The result of child training affects both the family and the society and spans into the next generation, hence must be approached with proper wisdom. Once we lose in the family we lose the society. School cannot do it, neither can the church do it alone. If the family is lost, there is no hope for tomorrow.
1. Plan Ahead
A popular saying has it that whoever does not plan to succeed has planned to fail. This is a simple statement of life because nothing is static in life. Life is like a hill. Any object not pushed up is pushed down.
How do you plan child training? Because it is a future investment, you need to plan for it. You need to plan for their schooling and the financial commitment needed even before the arrival of your babies. This you also need to do even when you have an unexpected pregnancy and you decide to keep it, which I always advise. Plan the housing, the school, the discipline level you want to maintain for your kids, the things you want them to know and when they should know, especially for guys with an ill past.
There is the need to agree with your partner, if together, on how both of you will handle the kids’ discipline and informal education. You are in for trouble if you allow the school to decide the discipline, morality, choices and spiritual orientation of your kids. Because many parents lose at this level, they lose it all because they feel that parenting is just providing a house, food and the material needs of kids. Parenting is more about modeling than provision. The former decides the result and usefulness of the latter. Plan ahead.
2. Be Responsible
The circumstance at which your kids come should not determine the attention given to them. Your age is also not enough reason not be involved in your child’s training. You’re already a parent when the baby was formed by your sexual indulgence. It may form a little setback or be a little bit strange for the younger parents, but I always encourage that they get involved. The child cannot have another direct parent than you and no one can provide the love that satisfies the longing of a child’s heart than the parents. It is a natural connectivity. Be responsible for what your kids do and become and that is the reason to make some stern decisions and resolutions early on how you want them to grow.
It is possible for the single parents that as the child grows, he/she may be separated from you, to stay with guardians or grannies, but ensure that you become the best parent you can become.
3. Set Boundaries, Create Liberty
This is where many homes lag and from here the kids are lost or built. There should be boundaries of acceptable behavior for each age and the kids should know that these areas are no-go areas, non-negotiable for the family principle. Time to sleep, time to play, time to read, time for school work, time for friends and time to be home for some ages. Time to cook and keep the house, how it should be done and who is responsible for it. Time to get a driver’s license and time to own some certain things. There should be time for family exercise and recreation. Things that will make or mar the future of the kids should be decisively dished out.
While we also take a stern stand on certain things, we must create liberty. The best place kids learn to express themselves is at home. They learn to talk, relate, respect and express their feelings and there is no better place to learn this than their homes. These should be done without fear and reservation. This is the time to build the confidence of your kids and you are the best friends they can have. If you can achieve this, you will go a long way toward securing their future because you are likely to be communicated with when they are about to make those choices that destroy their future. Don’t let distance take this away from them. As the kids become older, it gets easy to provide remote parenting but it must be done.
This is very important and the lack of it is the reason why many kids are aliens to their parents, even while they live under the same roof. I was with a girl during the Christmas holiday, and in the course of our discussion, she said that her dad does not love her enough, he shouts and doesn’t listen to her. I know the dad very well and know how much he loves his children and can tell that he does what he does because of how much he loves them and his expectations about them and how much of his resources he has put in. He is not asking for return but that they be responsible and established for themselves.
I sat down and walked her through the whole scenario, making it clear to her how much her dad loves her. But what was missing? Communication. It is very important that you let the kids know what you expect of them. Let them know what you want them to do, why they should do it and how it should be done. It is important at this point that you must have been very much aware of their capabilities so that you don’t commit to them duties that they cannot handle. After this has been done, give room for error, but hold them responsible for acceptable behavior and responsibilities.
5. Reward Success
This is a very good motivation for kids to perform on a higher level. It motivates to see your effort rewarded by your parents no matter how little it is. It may be a flower, a special outing, a beach visit, or whatever thing you choose based on your income level, ensure some specific achievements your kids make are rewarded.
6. Remain Positive
This is the last antidote I will prescribe for you. No one knows the future. While we do all we are supposed to do, we must acknowledge that our children have their own conscience and will be responsible for the choices they make which may go against our expectation. This we must accept and if it happens to be the wrong choice, I advise you to remain positive if you have done a good job while they were growing up. Don’t give up. Don’t develop high blood pressure. Speak your expectations out to nature as you should have been doing. Keep speaking and hoping and don’t stop at all. You must have been positive while they were young. Pray and speak well instead of complaining and grieving. Nature has ears. God is listening.
I pray you find rest and good for your kids. God bless you. See you in the next article.