7 Sure Ways to Spot Bad Parenting ...

7 Sure Ways to Spot Bad Parenting ...
By Michelle • Aug 30, 2021 MD

While I'm sure every preceding generation says this about the next, poor parenting choices seem to be a major problem today, and there are so many ways to spot bad parenting! From outright physical abuse to more subtle (but just as harmful) lapses of parenting, who hasn't been tempted to step in once in a while? I've felt the need to tactfully step in a few times recently, so I thought I'd share a few of the ways to spot bad parenting, so you're aware, too.

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1. Neglect

I know that one of the first ways to spot bad parenting is if the parent is completely ignoring the child, and not meeting their basic needs. If the parent does not care about the child enough to pay attention to them, then they are neglecting their child. Parents need to nurture and spend time with their children in order for them to grow up as social people, so if you suspect there's neglect going on, consider stepping in.

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2. Over-Protection

This is the other extreme, the opposite of neglect. You shouldn’t ignore your children, but you shouldn’t be over-protective either. If people are over-protective of their children, eventually when they become teenagers they will rebel and possibly damage themselves in the process just because it is against their parent’s will. Of course, some of this rebellion is part of the natural teen experience, but still and all, by over-protecting a child, you're doing them something of a disservice.

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3. Emotional Abuse

Many people think that emotional abuse is not as serious as physical abuse, but the truth is that emotional abuse can be far worse than physical in some ways. Emotional abuse can last a lifetime because it lingers in a person’s mind. Emotional abuse can consist of manipulation, lying to, and insulting the child. Again, if you see this, please consider stepping in.

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4. Physical Abuse

If you see someone hitting their child, pulling their hair, shoving them, or any other rough movements, there is a great chance that physical abuse is going on. If you see abuse going on then you should point it out, and get help for the child. Nobody deserves to be abused, and sometimes, to stop it, an adult just needs to step forward.

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5. No Discipline

This is kind of the same thing as ignoring a child. If you don’t acknowledge when your child is doing something wrong, they will never learn the appropriate behavior for society. However discipline does not mean abuse. Parents should pull a child aside and explain what their child is doing wrong, and what the appropriate behavior is. This is much more subtle, and unless you're close to the parents who are doing this, there's no tactful or helpful way to mention this.

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6. Favoritism

I have noticed this a lot in my friend’s household. He has siblings, and his mother tends to treat the middle daughter with more respect than the oldest and youngest son. She gets everything she wants, while the other two kids have to sacrifice things that they want for her schedule. This favoritism can damage a child's self-esteem. If you see this in a friend's household, it's not a bad idea to find a tactful way to ask about it; some parents may not realize they're doing it!

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7. Spoiling

Just like the daughter who was the favorite, spoiling is a characteristic of bad parenting. Giving a child anything they want whenever they want it makes them spoiled. They will become uncontrollable and when they get older, they will be horrible to live with and deal with for anyone who is around. It's hard on the child, too... they won't understand why, in real life, they're not given everything they want at the asking. This is another difficult subject to broach, but again, the parents may not realize they're doing it, and might appreciate some gentle advice.

Bad parenting is becoming more of an issue lately, isn't it? If you see signs of abuse, step in and say something. It may be hard, but a parent who is abusing their child needs to be stopped, and the child will be thankful that you stepped in. What are some other things that you consider bad parenting?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Dido

    2014-03-17T21:28:12.638Z

    I am a youth worker working within a school in a behavior base and a parent of 4 children, 2 older and 2 younger. I also come from a family where i had a younger sister and brother. I have a degree in Adolescence and a vast amount of training in child protection! I understand totally where this article is coming from. Abuse comes in many forms. The bone of contention on this forum seams to be spoiling! Yes spoil ur child with love and quality time but that is not what the author was referring to she was referring to giving in and letting ur child have everything! I had a family member and a student who lived like this, 1 ended up a heroin addict and died of an overdose the other is on drugs (valium) 24/7! They were and are very difficult to deal with! Giving a child a balanced life with life experiences, protection and guidance with confidence and sincerity makes for a happy well adjusted child!
  • NenaRN

    2014-07-10T00:06:11.580Z

    This is by far the most reckless, unprofessional, uninformed articles I have ever read. It is down right negligent and dangerous to suggest to give unsolicited parenting advice or to "step in" in unsubstantiated "abuse" situations. It was immediately clear to me that this writer has zero background in child psychology, parenting, or any other related professional roles. The scary thing is there may be readers out there who may not be aware of this & take this article as informative. I am not sure how this article was approved for posting but I hope the host site catches this liability and removes it asap, or relabels for a more appropriate heading. It reads to be written as a child/teen perspective on the topic, possibly someone who is trying to overcome some teen angst or harboring sibling rivalry or parental resentment. It is written at high school level & should not be passed off as something its not. Readers beware, and always double check information read on the internet with a local professional in the respective field.
  • Rachel

    2014-03-17T19:00:33.472Z

    One of my friends child growing up never got disciplined and always got what she wanted. She was never told no. In the result of that now that she is grown she emotionally hurts her mother when she doesn't get what she wants. The mother has tried to discipline her but its to late. Also since she's never be disciplined she's hard to deal with and makes it hard to want to be around.
  • Laura

    2014-03-17T09:50:41.534Z

    I don't think spoiling your children and being over protective is a bad thing you need to be more cautious in this day and age! Does the person who wrote this have kids? It sounds like this person had a sister who was prioritised over her and left to feel a bit left out maybe I'm wrong. I also think if there is definite abuse then you should step in
  • Ashley

    2014-03-17T13:17:59.458Z

    I don't think you should call someone a "bad" parent unless there's actual abuse.
  • mimi

    2014-05-29T17:47:15.772Z

    Really? Call the cops if you see abuse, dont intervene unless you are prepared for potential threatening behavior, furthermore the rest of this article is nonsense, bunch of amateur psychologists running around judging others...
  • Skitty

    2014-03-17T09:49:21.591Z

    Favoritism is one of the main reasons I never wanted siblings. No matter how many kids there are, parents always like one more than the others.
  • Ssarattuulia

    2014-03-17T17:01:59.831Z

    This is so true!!!
  • LynnDLynn

    2014-03-17T09:54:54.362Z

    @Laura, I think she means spoiling to an extent where when the child grows up the only thing they know how to do is depend on others for everything they want, are complete monsters if they don't get it, and can't hold down a job because they don't know how to be around people who don't cater to them...I'm a parent. I've seen this happen, and it's not pretty!!
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