Often times in a career-oriented culture, there tends to be many misconceptions about being a stay at home mom that are generally pretty negative. Well, being one myself I figured I would share with you some of those beliefs about moms who choose to stay home with their babies instead of having a career. There are pros and cons of course, but many misconceptions about being a stay at home mom are ingrained into so many minds which simply don't understand that lifestyle and just need more information and a different perspective. While most people don't actually verbalize these common misconceptions stated below, they are still well-known beliefs so keep reading!
This is definitely one of the most common misconceptions about being a stay at home mom. Often times people assume that being "in the home" means that we have the freedom to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. Not only is this not a possibility, but it would be extremely neglectful parenting to sit on your bum and not tend to your children. In reality, many moms who stay home aren't actually home all that often. There's grocery shopping and miscellaneous shopping trips, dentist and doctor appointments, music/art/sports events, play dates, park trips, and much more. While in the home, your attention is always needed from cooking to cleaning to fixing cuts and scrapes to simple play time and interaction with your kids. There's hardly ever a dull moment being a stay at home mom.
This has a partial truth in it. The misconception regarding this statement is the implications behind the word "luxury". This luxury does not involve endless amounts of freedom to do whatever you want when you want. This luxury does involve the incredible opportunity to raise, teach and train your kids each and every day, by choice. The choice is the luxury as many moms who wish to stay home do not have this option. All spectrums are great, including those who desire to have a career outside the home! As long as each parent is doing the best possible job in raising and loving their children, who can say anything negative?
To be honest, some days I would rather be at work than at home. It's challenging and sometimes downright messy raising a child. The sacrifice comes when you realize that being in the home rather than active in your career is more beneficial to your children than you can possibly know. The sacrifice comes when you put aside personal living costs to survive on one income. I believe that for those couples who can afford to and are willing to have one parent stay home while their children are too young for school, it really shapes and molds them into who they will become later in life. Ages 0-5 are such formative years and who better to shape those years than a loving parent?
Taking care of kids means you're on the clock 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is no "time off" because the work is always there (even in the middle of the night for some snuggles or sips of water). It is exhausting at times and you learn that balance is key for maintaining a healthy sleep schedule. Take short naps when the kids nap and go to bed earlier if need be. It's both physically and mentally tiring to raise kids, which is why a lot of moms who stay home have that "zoned out" look. Be gracious with them because they're working hard at loving their kids well while managing everything else!
Spending time with your kids all day is anything but boring! My boy's high energy and need for activity keeps me on my toes all day. From little dance parties, to shopping trips, to park play and other adventures, I am almost never bored! My son is such a joy and watching him grow and learn is something I wouldn't trade anything for.
This is where moms can explore their talents at home and begin a cool hobby. I know so many moms who have businesses on the side, such as photography, writing, blogging, art making and having their own small clothing company, that the possibilities are endless. Know what your talents are and use them for your own enjoyment and growth and/or the enjoyment of others. I also believe it's a fabulous idea for stay at home moms to have something that's just for us- that we can retreat to and be fulfilled from. It makes us all better mommies in the long run!
I once read a quote by Edith F. Hunter that said, "...What more important job is there than sharing the values we are learning to cherish with the next generation of adults? What more strategic place could there be for the educated woman?" I firmly believe that education is never wasted. I also agree with this quote completely. What an important job it is to raise children with our gained education and achievements! That simply means you're more equipped to train and teach your kids to be amazing adults some day. So no, you ladies who stay home are NOT wasting your education!
I want to encourage all of you moms, or you ladies who want to be moms some day, to discover what is best for you and for your kids. No shoe fits all and it's best to know where you thrive and what energizes you- whether that's in the home, outside the home or a little bit of both. For those of you that do stay home, what are some misconceptions you hear?