7 Amazing Things about Being and Having an Only Child ...

Jan

While I am not an only child, my sister and I both ended up having an only child. I turned 40 just a few months after having my son, so I felt blessed to have had the safe and easy pregnancy I did, and honestly was a bit afraid of pushing my luck. Lauren Sandler wrote the book One and Only, and Mom.Me gives us an overview of the great things about being and having an only child.

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1

Healthy Self-Esteem

Author Lauren Sandler says a healthy self-esteem is possible with having an only child. We as parents have to be mindful of the undivided attention we give our child, but for the most part when we aren’t smothering him or her, the extra attention and focus can be uplifting and a confidence booster.

2

Good Companions to Themselves

This one really resonates with me, as I enjoy being alone. I want my son to feel the same way, to be able to go to dinner or a movie on his own, and simply be comfortable with himself. Sandler says, "Only children tend to have a deeper primary relationship with themselves. Often we don’t think about that; we think of relationships in terms of those with other people, but only children have no choice but to develop a strong relationship to themselves, and it’s an incredibly beautiful thing; it offers such a degree of self-reliance." Sandler points out, "The greatest armor against loneliness is to learn how to be less lonely when you are by yourself."

3

Strong Bonds

Some would say an only child doesn’t learn how to bond in a friendship or relationship. This is definitely not so. In fact, an only child learns in an adult household more "mature lessons about relationships in terms of responsibility, nurturing and generosity."

4

Cooperative and in Control

All kids, only child or not, are going to have the occasional meltdown or tantrum. I agree with Ms. Sandler that an only child tends to take cues from the adults. They tend to have a greater focus of control and to keep it together in a more mature way

5

They Choose Their Families

I have actually done this as an adult. I have a core group of friends that are truly like a family. Only children will desire emotional connections beyond their families, and they will build supportive groups and traditions within those groups.

6

Happiness outside of Parenting

While this may seem a little selfish to some, having an only child makes it a bit easier to find that balance between parenting and me time. I enjoy every second spent with my son, but I desire time to myself just as a parent with multiple children would. With an only child, one may have a bit more energy left over for their spouses, partners, friends, and family.

7

More in Your Piggy Bank

Again, you have to put selfishness out of the equation here, because we all know being able to finance a bigger family is a legitimate concern. It’s okay to be comfortable saying we can have one child and live well. Don’t think if you have more children you’ll "make it work" because if you don’t know how to make it work, that’s only going to lead being stretched thin financially. Those financial issues can lead to many more problems. Don’t feel bad choosing to be parents to an only child. It can be a smart move for you financially.

I think Ms. Sandler lets us know that it’s okay to have an only child and in some cases can be a very smart move. Ignore those old stereotypes out there about only children, and know that your only child will have no more issues with selfishness or loneliness than any other child.

Source: mom.me

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

im an only child but i hate it idk y

I love being an only child lol

I'm the youngest of 6 kids and I honestly loved every second of it

I have one child and so far I haven't had another child. There's times when my son wants other kids around and other times he's fine being alone.

I find this article to be very true for myself as I am an only child. Growing up I had to be my own friend to play with- when at times other friends were too busy. I see that play in my adult life now, I don't need to be constantly with people and I'm very content in being alone and doing things independently. While I see handful of my friends who did grow up with many siblings whom constantly need someone by their side so they don't feel 'alone.' I think this article sums up some great characteristics of only children.

I am an only child and all of these are 100% true

I've grown up as an only child. And honestly, none of those things really were true involving my experience. Although for many It may be true. But growing up as an only child is really lonesome. The child has no one to relate to share things with with someone living in their own perspective of things. Yes I notice only children are more responsible and more adult like at an early age but to what expense. I didnt have an average childhood. I grew up with older people not kids. Plus I don't understand the true connection you could possibly have with a sibling. It makes no sense to me.

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