7 Myths about Only Children ...

By Melissa

7 Myths about Only Children ...

Being the mother of only one child, and no plans of having anymore, I become a little defensive on myths about only children. Of course, I’m a little bias about my own child, but I also have friends with only children that don’t fit the myths about only children either. I believe it's more about how the child is raised and taught, than it is about not having siblings.

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1

Spoiled

Honestly, I think it is ridiculous when people tell me my child is spoiled. Sure she has many nice things, but so do so many other kids. It’s not just our children that want a little bit of everything. We as parents, also want to give our kids what everyone else has. That being said, I’m a bit more practical minded and when my daughter was a toddler and preschooler, I just couldn’t justify spending the money on the big plastic play houses or kitchens all her friends and cousins had. It’s just too much money knowing that it’s only going to be played with for a couple of years. Of course families with multiple kids can get much better use out of it.

2

Demanding

Oh, this is another myth about only children that aggravates me. I’m the parent. I’m in charge. No little kid, or anyone else for that matter, is going to get something from me by demanding it. I’ve raised my daughter to show respect for others and to speak and ask for things politely. Being demanding has nothing to do with being an only child and more to do with not being taught differently.

3

Socially Awkward

Some people believe that since only children don’t have brothers and sisters, and spend much of their time before starting school with adults that they don’t know how to interact with other children. What are people thinking? She’s a kid, an only child, not some crazed maniac living deep in the mountains cut off from all civilization. When she was younger we spent much of our time with friends and family. She played with kids her age most every day.

4

Bossy

Bossy? Really? Who is it she is bossing around? She’s not telling me what to do and her dad won’t go for that either. She doesn’t have little brothers and sisters to push around. I just don’t see how this only child myth holds any ground. Even other kids are not going to put up with a demanding bossy friend. If she tried that at school with her classmates, she’d quickly learn that being bossy is not the way to make friends.

5

Needs a Sibling

It kind of hurts my heart when people try to imply that I am damaging or doing a huge disservice to my child by not providing a sibling. People should butt-out of other people’s business. They don’t know my story or the reason why I am only having one child. Maybe it’s a money thing or maybe it’s a fertility thing, or maybe it doesn’t fit our lifestyle, or maybe I just don’t want any more. For people to tell me I need to have another baby because my child needs a friend at home doesn’t make sense to me at all and kind of makes me mad.

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6

Feels Lonely

I’ll admit, I’m sure there are times when she might feel a little lonely at home. I imagine we all feel a little lonely now and then. It’s natural to feel alone when no one else is around. Like I already said, before she was in school she had several other children to play with, and now that she is older she’s involved in several after school activities. Plus she has tons of friends in the neighborhood. We are always on the go, there isn’t enough time for to feel lonely.

7

Acts Too Grown-up

Another myth about only children is that they act too grown-up. My child maybe more mature and responsible than other children, but I don’t think that has to do with the fact that she is only child. It’s just her nature. However, there are many things that she is still very naive about. I feel her friends with older siblings appear more grown-up and less naive about more adult topics.

The myths about only children have far less to do with the fact that they are an only child, and more to do with how they are raised. Any child can be spoiled, bossy and demanding because the parent allows it. I’d love to hear from other moms of only children to see how they feel about some of these only child myths.

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Being the youngest and only girl of five I know none of these are true. Every child has the possibility to turn out spoiled or bossy or social awkward. It depends on how the kid is raised and really how the kid is mentally. Every set of kids has myths about them whether it's dealing with the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child, they are just that. Myths.

My daughter is 11 and is an only child. She is a little spoiled but that's all on me. She's a good kid so I feel she should be rewarded. She is very social and active and does complain once in a while about not having siblings to goof around with. It wasn't my plan to only have one but when it's time to pay for college ill be thankful.

Eugh I agree! I'm 19 and I'm an only child. When someone asks me if I have any siblings and I say no, straight away they say, "Oh! You must be spoilt!" Even though I say no I'm not, they give me a skeptical look. And continue to pry, saying things as "So your parents didn't want anymore children?" ...what do you say to this. I hate it..

I'm an only child, I turned out okay.

Thank you for this article! It's so nice to hear the positive side of having one child. (And there's been some good research lately to back up what you're saying.) Not only do I wish people would stop perpetuating these myths, I'd really appreciate it if they'd stop talking about them in front of my daughter! Growing up hearing those comments (often from total strangers!) is far more harmful than anything that comes from being an only child.

I totaly agree. I'm also an only child...I have to say I am spoiled, but not with material things but it's more like I get almost too much attention from my parents and I know they would do anything for me. However a myth that is true for me is being socially awkward...even though I played a lot with other children it's not the same as if I had siblings...but I guess that also has something to do with my character and not only with me being an only child. Nevertheless I probably have spent more time with adults than most children.

Surely nobody believes that all only children are spoiled selfish, bossy, etc. There is simply a greater tendency for such people to be only children, and many people like to think that being an only child may justify or at least explain such behavior. I have many friends who are only children, but none of them is spoiled, demanding, socially awkward, bossy, lonely, particularly grown-up or needing a sibling.

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