9 Ways to Teach Your Children Not to Throw Tantrums ...

Whether you are out and about, or in the comfort of your own home, it’s still helpful to know ways to tame your kid’s tantrums when something happens to provoke one. Small children are still learning to control their emotions, and just like adults they get easily frustrated when something isn’t going right. It can be difficult for parents to know how to react and what to do, but these ways to tame your kid’s tantrums will give you the first steps to getting past this bump and moving on.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:

Remain Calm

One of the first ways to tame your kid’s tantrums is for YOU to remain calm. If you blow your lid or get overly excited towards your child, not only do you create even more of a scene, but your child will sense that you have lost control as well. You must stay on top of the situation at all times by remaining calm in order to have any say-so in what happens next.

Rule out Possible Causes

Not every tantrum a kid throws is because they are angry that they didn’t get their way. Sometimes a tantrum is the only way a tot knows how to say “I’m hungry,” or “I’m tired,” or “I’m not feeling well.” Learn to decipher between different types of tantrums. Most can be easily fixed or altogether avoided if you can stay on top of your child’s needs!

Do Not Reward Tantrums

Whatever you do, do not reward your child for throwing a tantrum. Offering candy or treats as a way of getting your little one to stop screaming and kicking will not teach them that it’s not okay to throw a fit. Instead, it teaches them that they can have an attitude and still get treated for it.

Offer Alternative Strategies

When you sense a tantrum coming on, try to take an alternative route. Offer a distraction or a new idea. If you’re in public, bring out a new toy or a snack to divert your child’s attention from the oncoming storm. If your child is already in the thick of a tantrum, gently and firmly take their hand or shoulder, look into their eyes, and say something to calm them. Then offer them a new activity to do or a chance to go somewhere private to calm down.

Try to Prevent Possible Injuries

A child who loses control of their emotions may flop down on any surface without realizing the potential for injury. Try to pay attention to your child’s surroundings when a tantrum is going on to make sure they don’t get hurt with nearby objects. Clear the area of toys or try to pick up your child if the floor is concrete or tile.

Don’t Get Involved

One of the niftiest ways to deal with tantrums is to walk away. If you know the tantrum is just over something petty or small, tell your child that you will not speak to them until they behave properly. Walk away and continue on with whatever you were doing before. Once your child realizes that you aren’t giving the tantrum any attention, they will be ready to talk about the real issue at hand.

Explain Why Tantrums Are Bad

Once the tantrum is over, and your child is calm, it’s important to sit down and have a discussion. Your child needs to know why tantrums are unacceptable and why we don’t throw tantrums to get our way. If you don’t take the time to explain these things to your child, they will grow up expecting to always get their way or never knowing how to properly express their emotions.

Choose a Method for Coping

Many different parents have different ways to cope with tantrums. You should choose one that works for you and your child. Some children need some alone time to calm down. Others need something to express their frustration through, such as paper to tear or crayons to scribble with. And some children just need to be held by their parent and be soothed.

Train at Home

Probably the most vital way to teach your kids not to throw tantrums is by training them at home. Kids won’t attempt something in public if they know they can’t get away with it at home. Work on emotion and self-control at home on a regular basis to avoid conflict in public places.

Tantrums can be a parent’s worse nightmare, particularly when they happen on a public outing! These tips and strategies should help you to teach your children not to throw tantrums. Remember, children are still human like everyone else and will have times of frustrations. It’s up to the parents to decide how best to teach your children which ways are acceptable for expressing those frustrations!

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

This acctually helped myself with my emotions, I want to go back in time and teach my little me how to behave because I sometimes feel like a kid when arguing with my boyfriend..

Wow how do u type that much in one sitting

Using a belt today is a bad idea and will get your kids apprehended by authorities just about anywhere in the world you live. The last time I dealt with a tantrum was when my eldest granddaughter was two (she's six now). We were leaving Walmart and she was overtired. I had just bought a Michael Buble CD and was looking forward to listening to it. My granddaughter was upset and crying and did not want to get into the car seat but no one rides in my car without being safely restrained. I calmly talked her through what I was doing and why while putting her into the car seat and buckling her in. Was it easy? No, but I was stronger and motivated by the need to keep her safe as we drove back to my house. I also knew not to take her behaviour personally. You see, a child's tantrum isn't about you. They're just frustrated because they don't have the vocabulary to express what they're feeling or the ability to get what they want, even if it were in their best interests at that moment, which it isn't (and the worst thing you could do is give in because then the tantrums would never stop happening--that's why you never reward them). Then I got in, started the car to get the air conditioning going, unwrapped the CD, and put it in the stereo. My granddaughter screamed and cried the whole time. I skipped through the CD to the song I liked, "Everything." My eldest two grandchildren, born just less than three months apart, loved Michael Buble when they were little and they always sang along with me when I played his music. All I had to do was start singing along with Michael and get my granddaughter distracted long enough to start singing and this song had an easy part for her--the "la, la, la's." Sure enough, she got quiet part way into the song and when she heard me singing that part, she joined right in with a smile on her face. When the song ended, I asked her if she wanted to sing it again, she nodded yes and we sang it again. By that time, she was enjoying singing so much, the tantrum was long forgotten. I call this the distraction technique. I don't know how reliable it is because my granddaughter never had another tantrum with me so I never had to try using it again. I do strongly advise staying calm and in control of your emotions, however. I know it's hard to get through the screaming and yelling and admittedly, I find it easier to bear as a grandparent. In some situations, ear plugs can be useful--just don't leave them in when you need to be listening for possible safety concerns from the nursery. I think that if you resort to corporal punishment, you've lost control and you're taking the behaviour too personally--time for counselling.

great tips, however there's always that chance that it will still happen on a child's particular bad mood day where nothing seems to make them happy. on those days, which do NOT happen frequently, my methods depends on where we are. if we are at home they are sent to bed to "sleep it off." there have been a couple times, though, where they would go to their rooms and instead of taking a nap, and throw bigger tantrums thinking I don't hear them screaming, or throwing things around, or hitting the walls with their hands. these actions are NOT tolerated in our home for ANY reason. this is when the leather belt comes out and they are spanked. how many licks? minimum of 5 always, but can be increased depending on how they behave while I'm enforcing this punishment. they know the rules and have quickly learned that if they have pushed me to the point of using the belt, they better bend over the bed and not fight me if they want to just keep it to 5 licks. now if a tantrum comes while we are in public, I use role reversal. I tell them that they may think they are embarrassing me, but they are about to get the embarrassment of their lives if they don't straighten their act. I let them know that I will stop whatever we are doing, no matter where we are, and very loudly say that if they don't behave I will spank them "right here, in front of EVERYONE!" this always turns just enough heads from the people around us, which immediately starts the uneasy feelings of embarrassment in my kids that they stop instantly. works EVERY time!! :)

Wtf to the spanking. I find this totally unnecessary & particularly cruel as there is not even structure to it, but rather it depends how much they fight it!!?!??? Wtf. Kids throw tantrums because they actually can't control or don't know how to express their emotions. Perhaps communicating with your child, trying to fix the problem together & reassuring them they are loved would be more beneficial. And your spanking can't be doing much but momentarily scaring and hurting them since they clearly are not changing or progressing.. "Works EVERY time"

Hopefully I remember all of these by the time I have kids

My grandson (2.5) throws HUGE tantrums at home, in public, he doesn't care! And my daughter hasn't learned/doesn't know how to handle them very well. But my lil girl (3 mos younger than grandson) try's it with me and I get down to eye level if possible or have someone pick her up to my level and I tell her it is not ok and she needs to talk to me so that I can "fix" whatever is bothering her (It also helps that I taught her sign language early on). It usually works very well. Sometimes she evens says she doesn't know why she is crying but just wants a hug.

This sounds like dealing with some men as well when they throw their little "tantrums" (aka mood swings). haha

I wouldn't pick up a child in the midst of a tantrum if the floor were concrete or tiled. They are so strong when they want to be, and I'd have thought there'd be a greater risking in them kicking so hard that they fall than if they were to fall from being on the floor.

Categories