7 Ways to Reduce the Worry of Elderly Parents

By Neecey

One of the things about ageing is that your parents age too, and with that comes all sorts of considerations. Most of us would freely admit that even if you love your mum and dad with every fiber of your being, you don’t want them living with you, nor do you want them going into residential care until it becomes the only viable alternative. My mother had a hip operation last year, and even though she’s only 65, I worry about her. I’m lucky in that she has a brilliant next-door neighbor as her best friend, which keeps some stress away, but there are also practical ways of keeping an open line of communication and reducing everyday anxiety for everyone involved.

1. Ring Ring

Even if they don’t want it, make sure they have a simple cell phone. Pick a basic model with straightforward functions that isn’t overly complicated. Make sure it’s easy for you to demonstrate how to use it — my mum was a scientist for nearly all her working life, but she still struggles with the TV remote! The other ongoing battle is getting them to remember to take it with them wherever they go. Making sure the phone is fully charged, working, and loaded with prepaid credit should be on your regular list of things to check during every visit.

2. Forewarned is Forearmed

It might be a bit of a struggle at first, but I ask my mum to let me know whenever she’s going out for the day, even if it’s just with the aforementioned neighbor. Having a quick heads-up gives peace of mind without feeling overly restrictive.

3. Safety First

Something many of us don’t give enough thought to is whether our aging parents live in a safe home environment. As people age, they tend to become sentimental about their homes and possessions; maybe the wiring in a 25-year-old toaster isn’t quite safe anymore, or the handrail leading down to the basement has always been a little wobbly. Take time for routine home safety checks to address anything that could cause an unnecessary fall or accident. For authoritative guidance on aging safety and fall prevention, resources from the National Institute on Aging offer comprehensive checklists. It’s not about paranoia; it’s simply better to be safe than sorry.

Inspect handrails, stairways, and loose throw rugs around the house.
Ensure hallways and entrances are well-lit with clear pathways.
Check smoke detectors, electrical outlets, and kitchen appliances regularly.

4. Talking, Talking, Talking Happy Talk

Are your parents truly happy? Being genuinely content makes a massive difference to overall quality of life and physical well-being. To me, happiness means one less worry contributing to daily stress. If mum and dad aren’t feeling content, work out if there’s anything practical you can do to assist them. Alleviating their stress directly reduces your own, especially when paired with planning regular visits.

5. Visiting Time

If you don’t live too far away, make a point to schedule regular visits. If spending long blocks of time with mum and dad feels overwhelming, opt for multiple shorter visits instead, which can be far more enjoyable and manageable. Unless you already have an established routine, try varying the day and time of your visits. This allows you to see how they manage their daily life naturally across different times of the day, making it easier to spot potential challenges early. Organizations like AARP provide great community advice for family caregivers navigating these dynamics.

6. Plans

Do you know what will happen when your parents get too old to competently look after themselves? Sitting down to have an open family conversation about future plans can save immense heartache, misunderstandings, and family acrimony down the road. When approached with empathy and respect, it doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable topic. Tackling these essential issues early — where they prefer to live, reviewing potential residential care options, discussing financial arrangements, writing a will, and honoring their wishes for care services — ensures everyone is aligned. You can also explore local eldercare support services through official networks like the Eldercare Locator.

7. Action Stations

Putting these straightforward steps into practice can eliminate a major source of ongoing anxiety. It is never about constantly keeping tabs or impeding anyone’s independence, but rather ensuring you have genuine peace of mind while your parents know, without a doubt, that you care deeply and are looking out for them.

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