Sadly, there are still some people who hold onto prejudice against working moms. This is hurtful and unkind. I know because I have seen it and felt it myself. I have the advantage in understanding this situation because I have been both a working mom and a stay at home mom. I want to help you find some strategies to deal with prejudice against working moms.
One of the very easiest and simplest ways to deal with prejudice against working moms is to let it go. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your choices. Only you can make the decision about what is best for your family. No one else is qualified to make that choice. Therefore, they are not qualified to criticize it. If a remark is directed toward you, simply smile and let it go over your head.
Don’t let others get to you with their opinions. If you know you are doing what is best for your family then remind yourself of that fact. Be confident in your decision and let that show to others. This will also deter the comments from coming your way. They may think it but they will be less likely to say it when you are confident.
Don’t allow prejudice to get you down. Sometimes you may need to be a united front when others direct that prejudice toward you. This may be especially true with family members. Generally, if a family member knows that a couple is in agreement over a subject, they are less likely to attack them over any given subject. Try this and see for yourself.
If someone begins to put you down and give an opinion about why you being a working mom is bad for your child, it is wise to be ready with a rebuttal. You can explain, if you wish, all the ways that you know that being a working mom is better for your child. You might say that you want to be able to give your child more or that you want to save for their college education. You might state that this is a way that allows your mom or another family member time to bond with your child, if that is the case. It’s okay to say that what you are doing is best for your child.
It is good to both offer and demand respect. Sometimes the biggest prejudice against working moms comes from stay at home moms. They feel so strongly about their choice that they can be quite vehement in their opinions. Sometimes letting them know that you respect the choice they have made is the best thing to do. It disarms their prejudice and sometimes gains you respect in return.
One of the best ways to avoid confrontation when you deal with prejudice is to refuse to participate. Remember, you don’t have to participate in every argument you are invited to. You can simply state your opinion but don’t go into conflict over it. If the person tries to get you to engage, tell them you have nothing else to say.
You know, time has a funny way of defending us. It can show that you made good choices. With time, it will be visibly seen that you loved your child very much. It will also be evident when you have a child that turns out well-mannered and well-behaved that being a working mom was not a bad decision at all. When backed into a corner, you may even want to say that to someone. You know your parenting ability does not hinge on the decision to work or stay at home.
Dealing with prejudice against working moms can be brutal. What is the best way you have found to do this? Please share your secrets.