7 Ways to Build a Better Relationship with Your Mother ...

Jackie

7 Ways to Build a Better Relationship with Your Mother ...
7 Ways to Build a Better Relationship with Your Mother ...

Whether you're best friends or have a strictly parent-daughter relationship, there might be a time when you’d like to build a better relationship with your mother. The mother-daughter relationship is a tricky one. It changes dramatically as we grow. This is why it’s important to not only check in with yourself to see how you’re feeling towards her, but also to see how she’s feeling about you. Knowing that you both love each other whether you’re close right now or not is the foundation of where to begin to build a better relationship with your mother.

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1

Know Your Age

When you’re trying to build a better relationship with your mother, it’s important to remember your age. When mothers allow their daughters to grow—and sometimes fail—without swooping in to save the day, it gives you a chance to understand that they won’t always be there to catch you when you fall. This is just as important to your growth as it is to hers.

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When trying to build a better relationship with your mother, it's important to remember your age. As you grow older, it's important for your mother to recognize that you are becoming more independent. This allows her to give you the space and respect to make your own decisions and take responsibility for your mistakes. It also helps her to understand that she is not always going to be there to catch you when you fall. This is an important part of growing up, and it will help you to develop the skills you need to become a successful adult.

2

Don’t Divulge Everything

Keeping some things to yourself is very important in mother-daughter relationships. If you allow your mother to know every single decision, every feeling you’re feeling or every guy you’ve ever made out with, you’re instantly making her into a friend. While she might be your friend, she is still you mother. That’s why when she says something motherly like, “Why did you make out with that guy?” you instantly feel defensive in your choice. Mothers will judge you differently than your friends will. It might be wise to keep some stories to yourself.

3

‘Friending’ Your Mom on Facebook

With parents joining Facebook and Twitter more often now, there’s a good chance you’re going to see a friend request from you mom waiting for you. This is another perfect example of creating a separation between your life and your mother’s life. Do you really want your mom seeing pictures on Facebook when you probably weren’t mommy's little angel? No matter how honest we are with our moms, there is still a divide and that includes Facebook.

4

Creating Boundaries

Creating good boundaries is very important in maintaining and growing a good relationship with your mom. It’s important to tell her where you draw the line and for her to tell you the same. For instance, if you move back home you need to be clear that you are her adult daughter that is moving back home, and you will treat her home differently than you did when you lived there before. That means paying bills, picking up your own dishes, helping out with grocery shopping. She also needs to remember that you are an adult and that asking where you’re going and when you’ll be back is none of her business.

5

Maintain Your Own Identities

Maintaining your own identity is important in building a better relationship with your mother. If a mother becomes too attached to her daughter she won’t build an identity for herself, and will lose sight of where she ends and her daughter begins. This either puts pressure on the daughter to make her mother feel included, or creates frustration and guilt, causing friction in the relationship. After a daughter leaves the nest it’s important for a mother to find out what makes her happy. New hobbies, friends or taking trips can really help create her new sense of identity if she’s lost it throughout the years.

6

Be Strong in Yourself

When a daughter speaks her mind and is clear about the choices and decisions she’s making in her life, whether the mother agrees or not, she is forced to see her daughter as someone who is taking charge of her life and ultimately as an adult. This might be hard and you might stumble, but staying strong in your convictions about whom you’ll marry, what career path you choose or the friends you keep shows to her that you are an adult and should be respected. Just make sure you’re making respectful decisions for your life.

7

Communicate

Communication is the key to everything. When you learn how to communicate your feelings in a way that is calm and respectful, real communication can begin. Listen to what she has to say without allowing old triggers to affect you. Both of you want to connect so allow it to happen, even if it’s hard on the first, second or twenty-eighth try.

8

Forgive and Forget

Moms are human, and make mistakes, but it takes a lot of energy to hold a grudge, so why not forgive her for the wrongs that have weighed on you over the years? It's very freeing to forgive and forget, and it'll help your relationship with Mom if you do like Elsa and let it go.

9

Learn More about Her Relationship with Her Mother

Nothing helped me learn about my mother as a person than learning what kind of mother she had, what kind of childhood she had. She'll be happy you're interested, and you'll learn so much!

Building a better relationship with you mother will take work and time, but it can be achieved. Whether you’re looking to mend fences or simply re-evaluate what your relationship is, it’s important to approach it with respect and patience. Your mother loves you but she’s human too. How's your relationship with your mom?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I love this, it's very true! Helped me a lot in many ways and if you disagree your doing it wrong all those points count, and they are true very much

I can also not see the last of the sentences on the posts which is quite annoying :-(

Simple don't want mom in your business and every move move and pay your own rent and bills. Been doing it since 17 and I'm am the captain of my own ship when it comes to privacy and I disclose what I want whenever I want:-)

Well I didn't like the article.

Am speaking as a mum but it's funny that over the years the relationship between all three of my daughters bs swayed the other way. They now act motherly towards me .

This is exactly what I needed to read. I'm trying really hard to forgive and forget past issues with my mom and I'm trying to help her understand the importance of boundaries. It's hard telling your mom you need space but it's necessary. It's frustrating, I feel like I either have to let her walk all over and disrespect my boundaries or see her hurting and feel like a bad daughter.

4 is wrong... Common courtesy anything to could happen everybody needs to know where each other are... If you are not doing anything wrong it shouldn't be a problem. It's never none of their business ... Didn't like that one.

is that an article for building or ruining relationship with your mom? i think point 4 is downright rude ! mom asking where you're going and when u'll be back is none of her business? she is your mom and gave you birth show some respect

and every move? Move out and pay your own*

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