I hope this article can help you know some things to do when you want a baby and he doesn't. This is a very difficult spot to find yourself in. It can feel heart-wrenching when you're ready for the next step in your relationship and your guy isn't. Hopefully these things to do when you want a baby and he doesn't can help you to reach a place of agreement as a couple.
I know that it's hard. But one of the best things to do when you want a baby and he doesn't is to not push him. It doesn't mean the subject is closed. You're just giving it a break for awhile so that it isn't such an emotionally charged subject. Let's say you give it two to three months before you talk about it again. By then you'll both be calmer and more prepared to discuss it.
During this time, reconnect as a couple. Rediscover the reasons you fell in love and focus on strengthening your bond without the added pressure of decision-making about growing your family. Embrace activities that you both enjoy and that allow for spontaneous enjoyment and deepening of your relationship. Keep in mind, having a strong foundation in your partnership can only benefit any future discussions or decisions about children.
When you do talk about this subject again, let him know how you feel. It's okay to tell him directly that you really want a baby. It may be a first baby or just adding another child to your family. Either way, you want to communicate clearly. Men usually prefer direct communication versus subtle hints.
Be honest about your emotions and the reasons behind your desire. If you're feeling overwhelmed by a biological clock ticking or if you are longing for the joy and challenges a child brings, share these feelings. Your partner may not understand the depth of your desires if you don't express them. Remember, communication is a two-way street; be prepared to listen to his feelings too, as understanding each other's perspectives is crucial for any important decision in a relationship.
Sometimes it's good to explain why you want a baby. Maybe you have what I call "the mommy urge" and you feel this need to have a baby. You may feel it's the right time in your life for a child. Maybe you want to take your relationship to the next level because you are so deeply in love with your guy. Maybe you want to give a sibling to the child you already have. Tell him the specific reasons you want a baby.
Your feelings of longing for a little one might stem from your innate desire to nurture and love a child, or perhaps you've reached a milestone in your career or personal development where you see motherhood as the next big adventure. It could be that your own upbringing was filled with warmth and love, and you want to extend that legacy. For others, the clock ticking might be a real concern, highlighting the limited window for conception. Share your personal feelings with heartfelt honesty, and this might help him understand your perspective more clearly.
If your discussion is growing heated, stop talking. Don't let it venture into argument territory. It's better to stop while you're ahead. Talk to him about the subject but then give him time to think. Guys generally need longer to think things through than we do.
His feelings are important, too. Ask why he doesn't want to have a baby. Is it a personal preference or does he have specific concerns? Maybe he feels it will be too stressful on your relationship or that the number of children you already have is perfect. It could be that he feels that you can't afford to have a baby.
Understanding each other's perspective is pivotal in a relationship. If your partner is apprehensive, explore if there are underlying fears or experiences holding him back. Is the timing an issue, or perhaps the fear of the unknown responsibilities that come with parenting? Communication is your strongest tool here. Be empathetic and listen actively to his concerns. Acknowledge his feelings without judgment and consider them as valid as your own desire for a child. This can help you both reach a common ground or compromise that respects each of your feelings and needs.
If you have something to say in response to his concerns it's good to do so. If he feels a baby would be too stressful on your relationship, maybe you could remind him how strong your relationship is. If his concerns are financial, maybe you could sit down and look at the numbers together. It might help him to see that you can afford a baby. Talking things out like this may help him change his mind.
Most of all, wait until you're in agreement before you attempt to have a baby. Pushing him into having one when he's clearly set against it can mess up your relationship permanently. Having two loving parents is always best for a baby. Your guy may feel differently in 6 months. It's always best to wait until you're in agreement before you have a baby.
These are 7 things to do when you're ready to have a baby and he isn't. Are you in this place? Feel free to share your experience.