It’s a very difficult place for your relationship to be in when he wants a baby and you don’t. It’s important to work through this issue for the health of your relationship. These are some things you can do when you’re in this situation. I hope one of them is the answer you’re searching for.
1. Do Some Deep Thinking
One thing that’s a good idea to do when he wants a baby and you don’t is to do some deep thinking. Is this how you truly feel? Is it how you feel because of the place you’re at in life or it’s how you’re going to feel permanently? There’s not a right or wrong answer here but you do want to carefully evaluate your feelings.
2. Talk about It
It’s important to talk about this subject with your guy. Discuss the reasons that you don’t want children. It can help him to understand your point of view. Even if he isn’t in agreement, it may help him see where you’re coming from. Sometimes this helps you to find agreement or come to a compromise.
3. Agree to Think about It
If it’s really important to him then agree to think about it. You never know; you could change your mind. Of course you should never have a child if you aren’t sure that you want one. It’s a lifetime commitment that you should only make if you’re certain about it. But thinking about it is a good thing to do. It’ll help you to be more certain how you feel about the subject, either way.
4. Point out the Benefits of Not Having Children
It may be good to point out the benefits of not having children to your guy. He may not have considered them. He may not realize what a deep level of commitment it takes to be a parent. Point out that you have freedom and finances now that you most likely won’t have once you become parents. He may come to see your point.
5. Work toward a Common Goal
If you do want children but just not right now then help him to see that. Work toward a common goal. Maybe you want to finish college before you have a baby. That’s actually a wise decision. It could be that you want to get to a certain place in your finances before you take that step. Help him to see what you need to have happen before you agree to having a baby.
6. Help Him See Some Blind Spots
It’s easy for anyone to have some blind spots when it comes to a subject they feel passionately about. Help him to see how a baby will affect his life. Maybe it would mean no more poker nights because it would keep the baby up. It might mean no more season tickets to watch his favorite team because the money will be needed for other things. This may make him change his mind.
7. Reevaluate Your Relationship
Having strong, differing viewpoints on this subject is a big deal. If you can’t come to a place of agreement then it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re dating then you may want to consider seeing other people. This is something you need to be in agreement on before you marry. You’ll need to decide if you can work through this in your relationship.
These are 7 things you can do when he wants a baby and you don’t. I hope some of these points have been helpful to you. What are your thoughts on this subject?
Frequently Asked Questions
- What should I do if my partner wants a baby but I don't?
- First step is to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your feelings openly, listen to his perspective, and try to understand where he's coming from. This is a big decision and both of you need to feel heard.
- How can I explain to my partner why I don't want children right now?
- Be honest about your reasons. Whether it's career goals, personal freedom, financial concerns, or just not feeling ready, make sure he knows it's not because you don't care about him or your relationship.
- Is it normal to feel pressured when he wants a baby and I don’t?
- Absolutely, it's totally normal to feel pressure in this situation. It's important to recognize those feelings and address them by talking with your partner. It’s a significant decision that can’t be rushed.
- Can our relationship survive if we disagree about having kids?
- Yes, many relationships do survive this disagreement, but it takes understanding, compromise, and sometimes professional help. Couples counseling can be a great way to explore solutions together.
- What if we can’t agree and it becomes a deal-breaker?
- If it's a deal-breaker for either of you, it's crucial to address it sooner rather than later. This might mean making tough decisions about your relationship's future if fundamentally your life goals don’t align.