All Women's Talk

7 Reasons to Stop Blaming Your Parents ...

By Alison

Do you ever think that you should stop blaming your parents for anything that's gone wrong in your life? Or for how they treat you now? While we shouldn't tolerate being treated badly by our parents, fully grown adults shouldn't stomp around moaning about their childhood. Yet many people do hold their parents responsible for things that have gone wrong in their life. Here are some reasons to stop blaming your parents …

1 You're an Adult

The first reason to stop blaming your parents is that you're an adult now. Maybe you even have your own children. And do you want them to be whinging in 30 years time about how everything is your fault? I knew one thirtysomething who held his parents responsible for all his problems. It wasn't true, and was not an appealing attitude in a supposedly mature man.

2 They Did Their Best

As is often said, kids don't come with an instruction manual. There's no foolproof guide to being a (good) parent, and parents are only human. They don't get it right all the time. Cut them a little slack. Bringing up children is a difficult job, and they did their best.

3 They're Not at Fault

It might not actually be fair to blame your parents for anything. Be honest with yourself - are you just stuck in old patterns of thinking it's their fault? It might not actually be anyone's fault at all. When we're young, we see our parents as all-powerful, but as adults we need to realise that they're not. And if they're not all-powerful, then they're not responsible for everything either.

4 Relinquishing Responsibility

Every teen blames their parents - it's part of the 'it's so unfair!' stage of adolescence, Blaming your parents when you're now an adult is essentially giving up responsibility for yourself and your life. Even if your parents aren't the best, you have to take charge of your own life and happiness. Don't make them responsible for making your life turn out well.

5 Forgiveness

Yes, your parents may well have got things wrong at times, but they're human, and people make mistakes. Forgiving them for their mistakes, even if only in your own head, frees you from being stuck in the past and seeing yourself as a victim. It's so much better for you to move on - you'll be a happier person for it. You can't change people, so change how you view the situation instead.

6 Parents Aren't Perfect

Nobody's perfect, and parents are no exception. So give yours a break and accept that they're only human. It's impossible to be the perfect parent. Even if you think you're doing everything right, you're not going to keep your kids 100% happy. Make allowances for your parents.

7 Living in the past

Maybe your parents did make mistakes. But if you carry on blaming them, you're allowing yourself to be stuck in the past. That's not a healthy place to be, and it will only make you unhappy. Live in the present instead, and be a happier person.

Holding your parents responsible for your problems means you're stuck in the past or in a victim mentality, or that you're not behaving like an adult who is responsible for themselves, their mistakes and their happiness. Do you know someone who still blames their parents?

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