When it comes to reasons to wait to have kids, everybody has an opinion. And if you are looking for reasons to wait to have children, you are not alone. How long you wait is a tricky one – there is never really the perfect time and if you take too much time, it might be too late. It’s all about the right time for you, and if you think that your 20s and 30s are too soon, here are some great reasons to wait to have kids.
1. Finances
This is one of the biggest reasons to wait to have kids – money. Kids cost a lifetime’s worth of money. And to put it in perspective for those who don’t have kids yet, imagine owning and running a top of the range convertible, brand new out the showroom. That is pretty much how much each kid is going to cost you – and there are no cutting corners; you couldn’t get out the driveway with only 3 wheels on your Mercedes. When you are older you tend to be more financially established, which helps.
2. Patience
If you have kids later in life, (hopefully) you no longer sweat the small stuff and have learnt along the way how to pick your battles. And when it comes to surviving child rearing 101 – this is a pretty important aspect of parenting. Having a toddler will test this to the absolute, soul destroying limit and if you get through that unscathed, you will be in for a treat when they hit the teen years. Patience gives you control and is a very valuable parenting tool to have.
3. You Have Exhausted a Misspent Youth
Having a baby in your 20s or earlier changes your life forever. The natural rites of passage, like partying all night, all weekend and all week with new friends in strange places, get pushed aside. Once you have kids, you can just tear out that page entirely - you won’t need it anymore. As a parent you are far more emotionally and psychologically together in your head when you have had time to explore the world and meet new people, and as an older parent, you will have already acquired this.
4. You Will Be with the Right Person
So often, as society used to dictate, people got married early. They then had babies early. Trouble is – hit 45, and divorce! There are not many people who can grow up with a partner who don’t find themselves growing up with them. If you postpone having children you will have the time to find somebody you want to share your life with.
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5. The Journey of the Soul
People find, and often way too late, that they have not discovered enough about who they are and what they want out of life, and perhaps still need some time to carve that special niche out for themselves before having kids. Delay starting a family to allow you and your partner to establish who you are as people with a bit of life experience on the side, which will set you in good stead before you need to show another human being the way.
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6. Career
You will have had a few years, if not more, to build a career and go places that will allow you to shift responsibilities when you decide to make any changes when you have a baby. If you wait until later in life to have children, you can build your career, build your company, build your brand and then get to the point where you can step back a bit if you wanted to later on.
7. Travel
Traveling with a backpack and just enough coins in your pocket to get you a nice cold beer and traveling with a baby are just two different things. Without kids, you and your partner can travel the world, see and experience different things before knuckling down to having children and building a family together.
8. Buying a Home
Bringing up a child in a one bedroom apartment is not how we all envisaged our life to be. When you are newly married, working hard and still making a name for yourself, that is very much the reality of your living situation. One of the most practical reasons to wait to have kids is to have the time to buy the home of your dreams with a garden and swimming pool; all you have to do is add kids.
9. Finish Studying
In this current financial climate, further education is more important than ever. Trying to do a serious degree in between feeding a baby and childcare responsibilities is just insane – something is going to suffer and, either way, you are going to hurt yourself. Finishing your degree and waiting to fall pregnant after you have completed your studies is very sound advice.
There are some fundamental reasons why you should wait to have a baby and it’s a very personal decision. And, none of them mean that you shouldn’t be or can’t be a successful parent when you’re young – in any shape or form. If you are thinking about delaying pregnancy in your marriage, which one of these great reasons to wait to have kids meant something for you?
Comments
Lauren: I say do what you want. My parents were 20 and had nothing established when I was born and we are just fine. I'm glad I was able to live through the journey with them as the established themselves.
Ashley: I agree but what if it just happens and you have no control over it. That's happening a lot these days. I'm 19 and I have people I graduated with having kids and even in high school. I would never want that for myself but sometimes mistakes happen. Not saying a baby is a mistake but yeah. I think the perfect age is 23-25 for your first child.
Espi: I agree with this, I love to travel and I'm so happy that I don't have to worry about kids. I can get up and go anywhere, do anything I want without saying "I can't because of my kid". Plus I'm still at a point in myself where I'm too selfish to have kids meaning I only have time to think and worry about myself (school, saving for my first house, etc.) I don't want to be pushed to grow up (and I'm 22) just because I'm pregnant, I want to grow up on my own. Plus I'm a nanny so I know how hard it is to raise a child so because of my job I'm definitely going to wait to have kids.
Donna: I got married at 23 and agree with the list. We travelled, bought a house and I got my dream before we had our first child 10 years later.
Ashley: I agree with all these points. If you're in your 20's and have a good job to help pay for your house and car and you can live comfortably that's cool, you're the lucky one, I say that because not a lot of people in their 20's have that. I honestly think its better to wait to have kids when you're more wise an have more knowledge, and you have a career that can support you and can also support your family. If you're 20 and working at McDonald's it's not gonna cut it. Babies are expensive, they need diapers, wipes, clothes and medical attention if needed. I'm not saying all young parents are bad parents, because there's some parents out there that are in their 40's and are horrible parents. I'm just stating my opinion.
Scott: When I started reading this, at first I thought it was a joke... but I think she's serious. The author clearly values the 'American dream' of living a narcissistic lifestyle - having a child does NOT cost a mercedes! LOL! And come on, if you haven't grown up by the time you're 20, you need to quit playing video games in your parents attic and get out of the house. I think the icing on the cake was the teaser, 7 ways to stop your kids from 'sabotaging' your morning! Ha! Just come out and say you hate kids instead of trying to turn everyone else off too!
Ashleigh: Not everyone is into the party scene. I was 19 when I got married and had my first son. I'm now 20 and got another on the way. I don't feel anything has been given up. Sometimes these days there are to many excuses given not to have children young. I understand some want to have a career. I respect that. I guess it's up to the person themselves. But I get sick of hearing you'll miss out on partying. It's really not needed. Children don't cost that much money while they are young. It really comes in when they start school. If you party all weekend you'd most likely waste more money than what a mum would spend on her child in one week.
Angi: "YOU WILL BE WITH THE RIGHT PERSON" that's nonsense. what does that have to do with age? how many couples get divorced after 20 years of marriage nowadays. basically i hardly agree with any of your points because age doesn't mean shit. it's about your mindset.
Thiago: I agree! Having a kid at 18 is tough, too early and probably not recommended but mid 20's early 30's is perfect. If u wait for late 30's and into your 40's when your kids go to college you'll look like their gramma and most likely give up on having kids. Plus- financially no one is ever ready for kids- you just have to go for it and it always works out.
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