I want to have children very much, as does the Better Half – but we know we're not ready yet. There are things we want to do, and we are both adamant about making sure that we're in a certain place before we have babies, so that we can take the best possible care of our children. We want children because we love the idea of being parents together, because we know that will make our family complete, and various other reasons about which we've thought long and hard. I know that not everyone has that luxury, and some don't want it. Women get pregnant for a variety of different reasons, but the fact of the matter is that there are some reasons you shouldn't have a baby, which is why I think it's important to take a look at some of the worst reasons to get pregnant.
Some girls and women decide to get pregnant because they want someone to love them unconditionally. Without question, the love between a mother and a child is unconditional, but the wish for that kind of love is not a good reason to have a baby. At the very least, that can never be the only reason, because it's not fair to the baby and ultimately it won't be fair to you, either.
Unequivocally, one of the worst reasons to get pregnant involves doing it to save a relationship. Getting pregnant to save a failing marriage or to keep your partner or spouse with you will hurt all of you in the end. In all likelihood, it won't work, and will make things that much more painful. It's terribly unfair to the baby you're bringing into the world, and to both parents as well. Worse, if this works in the short term, it will be kind of like putting a band-aid on a broken leg.
There comes a time when your parents, aunts, uncles, and the like start asking you when you're going to have a baby. It's tempting to cave into that kind of pressure, especially when it gets intense. However, you should never try to get pregnant unless you're ready to, and want to, no matter what your family things. If you sit down and talk to them about your feelings, they'll likely stop trying to pressure you.
To a strong extent, I believe in the biological clock – but I don't think anyone should lecture you on it. Just because friends, family members, acquaintances, or even doctors start making inappropriate comments about the ticking of your biological clock, does not mean you have to appease that by having a baby. Whenever there is any kind of pressure involved, you can rest assured that this is one of the worst reasons to get pregnant.
Some women believe that they will no longer be selfish or narcissistic if they have a child. This ideology is wrong on many levels. If you are single, for example, or even if you are with someone, and you live your life in a way that makes you happy, you're not selfish, especially if you're not hurting someone in the process. However, if a woman is indeed self center or absorbed, even in the smallest ways, then sometimes having a child can make matters worse. The woman will be even unhappier, in fact, because the baby becomes the center of her universe and she's not quite ready for that to happen.
The need for attention is definitely one of the worst reasons to get pregnant, and what's hard is, this is sometimes easy to understand. Your sister-in-law, cousin, or even a best friend might have a new baby, and be getting lots of attention. Some women see this scenario and they want that kind of attention for themselves, but having a baby before they're ready is not the way to get it.
Other women want to feel accomplished. They may think that, unless they've had a child, and are “using their body the way it was designed,” so to speak, then they have not accomplished enough. I know some people do feel that way, and I am not faulting that; that's a personal opinion. Regardless, however, you still need to be mentally, emotionally, and physically ready before you add a baby to your list of accomplishments.
Finally, there are many girls and women who like the idea of being mothers. They do not have realistic ideas about motherhood, and instead envision buying baby clothes and toys, and strolling with their child through the park, along with other idyllic scenarios. They do not take the time to think about the realities of motherhood.
Motherhood is a rich and rewarding experience – but it is definitely not all rattles and booties all the time. It is the biggest full time job you will ever undertake, and it is so important to be ready to take that step, when it's possible. Some women do not plan to get pregnant; those who do, however, need to understand that the worst reasons to get pregnant won't guarantee happiness. What do you think about the subject?
Top Photo Credit: buteijn
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