There are many wrong reasons to have children. If you're going to start a family, it should be because you and your partner want to. Some people let themselves be influenced by outside factors. As a result, they may even feel a certain amount of regret and resentment, however much they love their kids. Here are some of the wrong reasons to have children …
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1. Eager Grandparents
One of the wrong reasons to have children can be to keep your own parents happy. Would-be grandparents can drive you mad, with their endless questions about when you're going to start a family, and complaining that their friends have lots of grandkids. Don't let them influence you!
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
2. Partner Pressure
Your partner may be more keen than you to have children, and try to encourage you to see their point of view. Or you may be the one who is more enthusiastic. If one of you is ambivalent about children, or disinterested altogether, don't try to persuade them. And never be tempted to have an "accident"! A child should be wanted by both parents.
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
3. Time Running out
We've all heard about the biological clock, but sometimes women feel that they should start a family because time is running out. This isn't necessarily a good reason to conceive; if you're not 100% committed to having a child, then it could be a bad idea for everyone.
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Having children is a big decision and it's important to make sure you're ready to take on the responsibility. While feeling like time is running out may be a valid reason to have children, it's important to consider other factors. Having a child is a lifelong commitment and requires time, energy, and financial resources. It's important to think about whether you are ready to take on the emotional and physical demands of parenting. Additionally, consider whether you can provide a safe and secure environment for your child. It's also important to talk to your partner and make sure both of you are on the same page about having children.
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
4. Avoid Loneliness
Children can also be created in an attempt to avoid loneliness. Remember, though, that they will grow up and won't be with you forever. They may even move a long distance away. Your children will have to live their own lives as adults, and should not be used to try to fill an emptiness in your life.
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
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5. Carers
In some cultures it's the norm to look after your parents when they get old. In our culture I think it's unfair to have kids assuming that they'll be your carers one day. They need to live their own lives. So don't let this be a factor in your decision to start a family.
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
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6. Saving a Relationship "Band-Aid Babies"
Considering that parenthood is enormously demanding and stressful on a relationship, how can anyone think that having a baby will save a failing relationship? It never works. Don't deliberately bring a baby into your relationship if things are not going well - it'll simply hasten the end.
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
7. Someone to Love You
Some women, especially when younger, want a baby to fill an emotional void. They think that their child will be someone who will love them unconditionally. This may be true when the child is young, but there's no guarantee that there will always be a close relationship between you. Don't have a child to cure your loneliness.
Sometimes people think having kids will fix their problems, like saving a relationship or giving their life meaning. But really, kids need love and stability, and aren't the answer to adult issues.
Yeah, it can be. Having a child because you feel pressure from family or society isn't fair to you or the child. It's important to do it because you truly want to be a parent.
People often think a baby can bring a couple closer, but parenting is stressful and can add strain. A strong relationship comes from working on each other, not just adding a kid to the mix.
Hoping kids will provide for you in old age or benefit from them financially isn't a good reason. Children need support, care, and investment, not to mention they are costly!
It's pretty common to think kids will give your life purpose, but that can be a lot of pressure on them. It's important to find fulfillment in yourself before relying on raising a child to provide it.
8. To Get Him to Commit
Are you tired of waiting for your partner to commit to you? Here's another wrong reason to get pregnant. If your partner isn't showing any signs of wanting to commit, then parenthood won't magically have that effect. It's far more likely to make him run a mile, so either work it out with him or end it so that you can find someone who does want children.
Deciding on the issue of whether to have kids or not is often a difficult one, and will affect your life completely. Fortunately there is less pressure on women by society these days; being childfree is not considered as strange as it once was. Have kids because you want them and will love them, not because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Have you been pressured by anyone to start a family?
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Comments
Jaime: "Carers?" I take it you meant caretakers
Vanity: I actually plan to have children and marry my man. We love children and we know they have a place in our future for sure. I do like this article though because these are all valid points to why people choose to have children and they aren't good reasons at all. I've seen a lot of woman get pregnant to "keep" their relationship. It almost always turns out the opposite.
Kiwimango: Great article! I agree with all the points. :) i do kind of feel pressure as im constantly asked by both friends and family when ill have children. But i dont want to until me and my boyfriend feel wholeheartedly ready (if that will happen).
lbhutche: I don't think that children should automatically be assumed to take care of you as you get older, but I know that I want to take care of my parents, they spent a good deal of time and money taking care of me, so why not return the favor? And I could never have the heart to shuck my parents in a nursing home, especially since I work at one and know what it is like!
Alegna: Never ever consider having a child with your man if he has cheated on you in the past or you have evidence that he might still be cheating.
Sara: Another reason: because you hate your job! So not ok
Yasmine: My cousin did #7
carrie: Carers makes perfect sense! 'Are you a carer for someone?' Its a common used word in the UK where 'caretaker' to me sounds like someone who works in a park!
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