All Women's Talk

7 Ways Sex Isn't the Same after Having a Baby ...

By Alicia

Having a baby is one of the most special things that could ever happen to you. It’s a beautiful, exciting time in your life. It’s also a time that can bring you closer to your partner but it can affect your relationship in other ways. Sex changes after giving birth. All of these may not apply to you, but it’s good to have an idea of the changes that could occur so that you’re prepared to deal with them.

1 Opportunities for Sex Become Scarce

One way sex changes is that opportunities for it become scarce. You have this tiny little human who needs your time and attention on a regular basis. You’re very busy with baby care. And it’s wonderful and you probably both love your new roles as Mommy and Daddy but it affects your sex life. It can take some time to find balance, but you can do it.

2 You’re Too Exhausted

This may be the biggest road block to sex after having a baby. You’re absolutely exhausted. Those middle of the night feedings will zap your energy. Remind yourself that this is a season that’ll pass. Nap with your baby so that you have energy to be sexual with your partner and just so you’ll feel your best.


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3 You May Feel Self-Conscious about Your Body

You may feel self-conscious about your body after having a baby. You may worry that your partner is focused on those changes. While it’s true that having a baby does change your body, don’t let that hold you back from being sexual with your partner. They may love the new changes they see in you. Do your best to love your body. Remember that all the changes you see are because of the sweet baby who’s now part of your life.

4 Your Interest in Sex May Be Lower

You may find that your interest in sex is lower after you have a baby. This can happen for physical, mental or emotional reasons. Whatever the cause, it’s frustrating. If this issue continues for more than a few weeks, talk to your doctor. There’s a lot they can do to help you get your sex drive back on track. Also remind yourself that this is a temporary phase and you’ll return to normal.

5 You May Feel Nervous

You may be nervous about being together sexually, especially the first time after having your baby. That’s not unusual. One thing that can help is to wait until you have your doctor’s okay to resume sex so you know for sure that your body is ready. Also, be patient with yourself. Remind yourself that your partner loves you and sex will eventually resume naturally between you.

6 Dryness Could Be an Issue

Sometimes dryness is an issue after childbirth. It can happen as a result of all the changing hormones you’re experiencing. But don’t let it hold you back from being with your partner if you’re ready and your doctor has given their okay. Use a lubricant to help with this problem. Your partner’s probably more than happy to use one if it means sex is happening again.

7 It May Take Awhile before Things Feel Normal down below

Things may not feel exactly like they did before when you have sex. The important thing here is to not panic. Of course, if you have pain you should consult your doctor. But feeling different sensations than before isn’t unheard of. Be patient with your body and give it time to return to normal.

These are some ways sex can change after having a baby and some suggestions for dealing with them. Has sex changed for you since giving birth? You’re welcome to share.

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