Every mother wants to know how to be a cool mom - one that her kids think of as a friend as well as a mother. The thing is, that most moms over-think the whole “cool mom” persona (think Regina George’s mom in Mean Girls!) and in turn, find themselves letting their kids do things they’re not comfortable with, simply because they feel that they should. If you’re wondering how to be a cool mom, read on!
One of the most important aspects of how to be a cool mom is listening to your kids. When your child comes to you with a problem, they are telling you in confidence and deserve all of your attention. As their mother, it is important for your children to know that you will always be there to listen, whether it be a problem they’re having or even if they just want someone to talk to.
Knowing what hobbies your child has and doing these things with them is a really great way to earn their respect, and get to know them better in the process. Your kids will appreciate you taking an interest in the things that interest them, and this will then give you more things to talk about. Even if you don’t participate with your child, asking them questions about it is just as great.
Children respect parents who have clear boundaries. It’s fine to want to be your child’s friend, but you are their mom first. If you’re not comfortable with your child doing something, you are allowed to say no. It shows you love and care about the safety of your child. Always agreeing to everything can sometimes lead your child to feel as though you don’t care.
Being a cool mom is not about being lax on rules or being your child’s best friend. It’s about setting clear boundaries and expectations, while still showing your child that you care and understand them. Lay down the law and make sure your child knows what is and isn’t acceptable. Explain why you say no to certain things, and make sure they understand your reasoning.
Enforce consequences when your child doesn’t follow the rules. It’s important for them to know that there are consequences for their actions. This will help them to develop a sense of responsibility and respect.
Be consistent with your rules. Children thrive in an environment with structure and consistency. If you’re constantly changing the rules or allowing them to do things one day and not the next, it will be difficult for them to understand what is expected of them.
Make sure your child knows that you are always there for them. Let them know that you will always be there to listen and support them, even if you don’t agree with their decisions.
Having secrets is a large part of growing up and learning trust. It’s okay for your children to have secrets from you - obviously, if you feel as though your child is in danger then it’s a different story, but for the most part, respecting your child’s right to privacy is very important. They’ll let you know when they feel comfortable.
I know so many mothers who have special days with their children. Pick a day each month, for example, and have days dedicated to you two. Go shopping, play sport, take a class - whatever you both enjoy. It’ll give you a chance to really bond and it will show your child that you are genuinely interested in spending time with them.
Knowing who your child is friends with is not only great at creating peace of mind for you, but it also lets them feel comfortable with bringing their friends home to hang out. Meeting and getting along with their friends is a really big deal in your kid’s mind, and it’s important you respect that!
Every kid goes through different phases, be it fashion, music or personality - it’s all an important part of growing up and figuring out who they are. While some of these phases may not fit in to what you believe in or understand, it is crucial that you accept them anyway. They will grow out of them, but it’s important that you are there for them if they need you.
Being a “cool mom” isn’t as complex as you might expect! It really all comes down to being an understanding, patient and loving mother. Earning respect and trust from your kids is easy, if you are simply there for them when they need you. What are your tips for being a “cool mom”?