More and more couples are deciding for themselves why it’s okay to not have children. However, they are still being ridiculed by society, including those closest to them. Having children is not for everyone, and it’s not a decision that is made lightly. If you’re someone who has put down others who don’t want to have kids or you’re someone who is still thinking it over, continue reading for helpful tips on why it’s okay to not have children.
You see other couples who travel with their kids and just think to yourself, “This is why it’s okay to not have children”; because you love being independent. You don’t want to deal with the crying, changing of the diapers, and early morning feeds while going to the beach. You love just waking up with your spouse and being able to do what you want without worrying about a little one. When you hear about your favorite band coming to town you don’t want to have to search for a baby-sitter, you just want to go! When you have children, you are no longer just living for yourself, you now have to plan with them in mind. If you love being independent and being on your own without the worry of a two year old pulling on your leg, it’s okay to not want to have children.
You enjoy what you do and you’re looking forward to moving ahead in your career. However, this path does not include children and some people don’t agree with you. Whether you’re a med student, an event planner, or even a writer, there are some women who just love their job and want to keep moving forward in it and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel bad about loving your career more than the thought of having a child. In some careers there just isn’t time to be home to make dinner, take the kids to soccer games, and clean up after everyone. You love helping your patients, going to conventions to speak about your book, or planning events that make people happy. You’re happy in your career and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My husband and I have been married for almost four years and have been together for eight. When we met, he had three children of his own ranging in ages of 8 to 17. After a few years of being together, his children became my children and together we became a family. Many blended families have a child of their own, but we decided that we already had our children, especially since the two girls were young and still needed parental guidance. I may not have given birth to them, but in my heart and my soul these are my children, GOD gave them to me to love and protect.
As your friends are celebrating with baby showers and crying over cute little booties, you are out enjoying a drink or planning a trip to Italy. You have decided that having children just isn’t for you. You’re not the woman who gets emotional over pink tutus or goes crazy over holding a friend’s baby. Yes, you’ll be the coolest Aunt in the world who takes her niece to her first concert or cuts her nephew’s hair into the shape of a mohawk! But, you just don’t see yourself wanting to deal with a screaming, crying baby. It’s better to be the woman who knows having children is not for her than to be the woman who regrets having one, because that situation isn’t healthy for the mother or child.
Whether you’re in the military, work for the CIA, or just don’t like to stay in one place for too long, being on the move can make it difficult to raise a child. So, if you decided that you like living on the road, moving from country to country, and don’t want to have a child, then do and go be you! No-one can nor should they try to stop you from being who you want to be.
You’re always up late at night, which is why you work the late shift and have never really been a morning person. Having kids means getting up early; when they're little it means getting up all hours of the night and morning. Then when they start school you’ll have to get up when they get up, or you’ll have to get up first to wake them up! This just isn’t the life for you, so sleep in and stay up late and don’t feel bad for wanting to do so!
Having a child isn’t for everyone, even when you think you’re ready...you’re not! This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have children for this reason. But if you don’t see yourself as someone who can really change their entire lifestyle, and be selfless when the time comes, then it’s okay to not want to have children. Raising a child isn’t easy; it’s not easy on your relationship, your wallet, or your mind. Yes, having a child can be very rewarding, but if you feel your life is rewarding in other ways, be proud of it.
Whether you decide to have a child or have realized that it’s okay to not have children, make sure this is your decision and no one else's. Also, before you marry the love of your life, be sure to make this choice together.
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