There are many good reasons not to start a family too young, although some argue that it is better to have children when you're younger. Everybody has to decide what is right for them. Many people would be better off waiting, although there are others who make excellent parents although they are younger. However, here are some sound reasons why, in general, it's better not to start a family too young …
1. Emotional Stability
One of the main reasons not to start a family when you're younger is if you lack the necessary emotional stability. Most of us have to go through several relationships before we meet the right person to have kids with. Also we are often not mature enough to be parents.
2. Finances
Kids may not need a fortune in toys, clothing and equipment, but there's no denying that having a family costs a lot of money. You either have to pay for childcare or be able to live on one wage. It's best to make sure that you have sufficient money put by before starting your family.
3. No Rush
Some say that there never is a "right time" to have a family, and that if you wait for that time to arrive you'll be waiting a long time. For most people there is no rush, however. You can wait until your late twenties or early thirties and in most cases will have no problems conceiving.
4. Career
Getting your career established is important for two main reasons. One, it will enable you to build up your finances to support your child. Two, it will help support you in the future. Start your family before your career has got going, and you will find it harder to get into the workplace.
5. Enjoy Yourself
There is plenty of time to enjoy yourself before starting a family. Have kids too young, and you may resent having to stay at home while your contemporaries are free to do what they want. Life is much more flexible when you are child-free, so do things like travelling while you can.
6. Finding the Right Person
If you are in too much of a hurry to start your family, you may overlook the possibility that your partner is not the right person to father your kids. It's absolutely essential to pick a good guy who will share as much of the parenting responsibilities as he can (obviously he can't split the pregnancy with you!).
7. Worried about Fertility
There's a lot of coverage in the media regarding the issue of declining fertility. This may convince some women to start their families before they're really ready. Of course it is best not to leave it too late to start trying, but you shouldn't rush into parenthood either because of scare stories.
8. Pressure
Our current society frowns on younger parents, so not many people are pressurised into starting a family young. However, there may be circumstances when it does happen, such as eager would-be grandparents or fathers. You should only be a young parent if it's the right thing for you.
I'm not knocking young parents, as some younger people make excellent parents. There are advantages, such as being a young, active grandparent, and having your children off your hands when you're only in your forties! However, there are lots of reasons to consider postponing parenthood until you are older. Take everything into consideration, and do what is right for you and the children you want. What do you think - is it better to be a young parent, or wait until later?
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why might starting a family too young be a bad idea?
- Oh, there are lots of reasons! It can be really tough financially, emotionally, and even on your social life. You might not be fully ready yet, and that's okay.
- Is 21 too young to have a baby?
- For some people, yes. At 21, you're still figuring out life, career, and maybe even who you are. It's a huge responsibility, and waiting a bit might give you more stability.
- Why do I feel this strong urge to start a family right now?
- It could be many things, like societal pressure or the idea of having someone to love. But it’s important to consider if you're truly ready for the commitment it demands.
- Is it better to wait until I'm older to have kids?
- Often, yes. Waiting until you're more established in your career and life can make things easier. You'll have more experience and resources to offer your family.
- What if my partner and I both feel ready to start a family young?
- That's great if you're both on the same page! But think about the practical aspects too. Make sure you're prepared for the long-term responsibilities and challenges.