7 Reasons It's Not Selfish to Choose Not to Have Children ...


Children can be lovely, but being a parent is not for everyone. Happily we live in a time when the decision to remain child-free has become more accepted. Yet those who choose not to have children may still be accused of selfishness, when if anything wanting to have children is a 'selfish' decision (you do it because you want them, not to please other people!). Here are some reasons why it's not selfish to choose not to have children …

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Personal Decision

Having children or remaining child-free is a personal decision for you and your partner, if you have one, to make. Nobody has the right to tell you that it's the right or wrong thing to do. Some people just don't want to be parents, or choose not to for economic or health reasons. Or maybe they want to focus on their career. Everyone must make the right choice for them.



It could be said that it's actually unselfish not to have children. People who do have kids have them for their own needs, not for the benefit of the child or society. If you don't have children, you're not giving in to your own needs. That's not to say that having kids is wrong, just that it is in the purest sense a self-centered act.


Children Should Be Wanted

In the past, some people had children because it was expected of them, and some of these children had a miserable childhood because of it. Children should only be brought into the world if they're very much wanted. Where is the sense in having kids just because you're supposed to, or because 'you'll be lonely when you get old'? It's better to enjoy your child-free life than have children you don't really want.



Not having children can be a very sensible decision for practical reasons. They're expensive to raise, and if you don't have job security or a good enough income, how are you going to pay the bills? You may have a demanding job that's not very family-friendly, or a tiny apartment. Or perhaps you just haven't met anyone you want to raise a family with.



Having children is an enormous commitment that doesn't stop the moment they turn 18. You'll spend the rest of your life being a parent, dealing with their problems and financial demands. And you can't return them to the store when you change your mind! Some people just aren't ready - ever - for that commitment, and that's fair enough.



These days we're lucky to have more options open to us. Women can enter a wide range of careers and do whatever they want. Now that we have more choices, parenthood may not seem so appealing. Everyone has the right to choose whatever fulfills them, whether that's parenthood or remaining child-free.


Population Growth

Lastly, there are also demographic reasons why being child-free is a good idea. The world's population is now over 7 billion and is forecast to reach a frightening 9.6 billion by 2050. So it can only be a positive thing if some people choose to remain child-free.

You shouldn't have to defend your choice to remain child-free, but these are some possible arguments to fight back with if you're criticised. What do you think are the advantages of being child-free?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I did not have children and this 63 year old does not regret it. I do get much pleasure from my nephews and stepson though. I have observed in my life that some folks make wonderful parents and sadly to say I have known folks who were not at all equipped to deal with their kid at all and we're just pitiful parents.

Thumbs up for this article, this sums up why I won't be having children. It is mostly a personal reason for me but more of a selfless act in itself. I tell myself that I won't ever be sad because I will be working in childcare and being surrounded by children all day is enough for me :)

rightly said, it is a personal choice... its a great unusual post. happy to get to know like minded people.

I love this article. Another issues not listed was the inability to have children due to health issues or no family support. Many people don't even think about those reasons and put way too much pressure on women to have children without considering those factors. I'm nearing 30 and for multiple health reasons I can't have children. I also don't have a family unit. I'm an only child, both of my parents are deceased and so are my grandparents. It would be selfish to have children and not have family to share with them. People are quick to suggest adoption, but those are also people who have biological children and would never adopt.

Well... Obviously to have or not to have children is a personal choice, and one that should be carefully thought out. But- this article made me feel slightly bad for having children. It reminded me of a time when I was 8 mos. pregnant with my 4th (and last) child. A "friend" asked me if I had thought about the effect I was having on the population. She said it was selfish to have children if I was at all aware of the World population crisis. I was so sad- and yes, I did feel selfish and guilty. But oh, how I love my children! I love them more than anything!

Oh Thank You so much for this post!!! Kids are a huge responsibility and the fact that I don't want kids shows that I am not THERE in life yet...and since I am not prepared for them, I am pretty sure I will screw it up if I try to.. Just because I am "supposed" to have/ want my own children...I think it's completely alright to not want children...I mean seriously adopt one if ever u want to, so many children are suffering without homes and family...

I don't know I get this point of view but I feel like haveing kids is so much more beneficial than not.

I felt this way for the longest time ever , got married miscarried in 05 then gave birth to a beautiful girl who has enriched our lives. It's a personal descision it's not for everyone. Your not a bad person or selfish if you don't want children.

My mother was upset when I told her I will not be having children and she has tried and still is trying to convince me to have one. I will not bulge because it's a personal choice for me. I'm not going to have a child to please others when I never had the desire to raise children. My fiancée has 2 boys and that works for me

It's a personal choice. My best friend never wanted a child and ended up having one...is she a good mother? Yes. Does she love her son? Yes. However, it NEVER came naturally to her being a mother. Some people just aren't parent material and that's okay!

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