Unwanted parenting advice is extremely common. Every parent has been told many times how they should raise their kids, and what they are doing "wrong." When you're tempted to tell parents what they should and shouldn't do, think twice before speaking. Parenting is stressful enough, and people really won't appreciate your advice, however well-meaning it may be. Here are some pieces of parenting advice that you shouldn't give to other parents …
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Discipline
One piece of parenting advice you should never give is how other people should discipline their children. Telling them that they should smack their child/ send them to bed/ yell at them is guaranteed to meet with a frosty response. Parents need to decide among themselves how they should best discipline their child; you're not the child's parent, so you have no say in the matter.
2. At Her Age, She Should Be …
Every parent will have encountered the self-appointed expert who loudly proclaims their opinions on when a child should reach certain milestones. They'll tell you that when their little angel was the same age he had already submitted his PhD. Don't tell anyone that a child should be doing certain things by a certain age. Children are all different, and will learn to walk or develop a vocabulary in their own good time.
3. When to Stop Breast Feeding
Even expert opinions differ on how long you should breast-feed a child for. Even if you think that a woman is breast-feeding a child that is far too old, keep quiet. It's not for you to decide when she should stop. A mother and her child will stop when the time is right for them.
4. Birth Plans
Have you ever met the type of woman who pontificates about how having a Caesarian isn't really giving birth? Never give other women advice on their birth plan if they haven't asked for it. Giving birth is such a personal experience that other people's opinions shouldn't come into it. The only other opinion that counts is that of her obstetrician and midwife.
5. Size of Family
Most parents have heard this at some point. They've been told that having an only child is selfish, or that they can't afford a larger family. It seems that whatever people do is wrong! Nobody wants to hear opinions on how big their family should be, so keep your comments to yourself.
6. Diet
Vegetarian parents get a lot of criticism from others. But it's entirely up to the parents if they want to bring their child up on a vegetarian diet. This is perfectly healthy providing the parents ensure that the child gets all the nutrition they need from vegetarian sources. Also, don't tell anyone how that they should force their child to eat new foods or that giving them treats is harmful.
7. Pacifiers
Many parents who give their children pacifiers will have seen and heard disapproving tuts from strangers, and comments like "it'll deform their teeth." Sometimes a pacifier is the only thing that will calm a fractious child, and you shouldn't judge parents if they decide to use them.
If other parents want advice on child-rearing, they will ask for it. Don't think that you know best, as it will definitely not go down well. You should particularly avoid giving complete strangers unwanted advice on how to bring up their kids. What's the most annoying piece of parenting advice someone's ever given you?
Comments
holly1288: I have to say the worst is getting pushed into a parenting style from your mother in law from 30 years ago no cool. things are not the same she might have hit her kids with a belt but I wont and it couses problems in the family when you tell your mother in law NO ahhh
Jacki: Ido t really agree with this article. Yes you should hold your tongue on some things but sometimes people need help understanding more about kids. I especially am from a big family and sometimes I run into people who are knew to things. Many people don't know why their kids are acting up or why they are having the illnesses they are having. Like for example, pacifiers can in fact hurt the speech of a child for a very long time. And for most kids it will in fact create cavities and make their teeth shift. There are things that happen for a reason. And instead of feeling defensive about it. Maybe they should take into consideration what people are trying to tell them. It just might make their world a little better. My mom used to let my sister suck her passy all the time just to appease her. One day I said enough was enough and threw it away. She looked for for awhile but then she forgot about her passy and went to acting like a normal child with no temper tamp trims about it. If you feed into a child's wants and needs to much. You don't become a parent you become a slave. Now how is that supposed to teach your kids how to respect their elders? People! My kids will never rule my world. They will just be raised in it.
Belinderjit: I too wouldn't like someone telling what to din what not to do.. Especially about how many children I should have..
LizP: The worst is getting unwanted parenting advice from somebody that never even had kids! I don't care if you have nieces and nephews, if you babysit, are a teacher or nanny... If you never had kids, you have no parenting advice to give!
Sarah: Just going to say I think that it is illegal to not feed babies protein. I don't really know the conditions it's under like age and how much. Just for vegetarians, please check with a doctor because it would be terrible if you got in trouble for it.
Elysium: I hate when ppl say things like don't give in to your child or they will manipulate u. It's not always the case. Some kids need a little extra comforting than others so if a baba or a passy helps little one to feel more relax then do it. Fk what ppl say. You are the best advocate of what your child needs not a stranger or even friends or family. My daughter was attached to her baba till almost 3 and her teeth are perfect and have zero cavities. Ppl nowadays want to rush kids too much into growing up too fast. Treasure the little things cuz before u know it they'll be off to college and you'll miss the days of them being sweet in your arms passy and all.
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge