Teenage daughters are such a strange species that finding ways to connect with your teenage daughter may seem next to impossible. But at the same time, you don’t want to give up the fight and risk losing her. Believe it or not, deep down, your daughter wants to have a healthy relationship with you, despite all the times she’s rolled her eyes, slammed a door in your face, or displayed extreme rebellion. You should try these ways to connect with your teenage daughter if you want to keep her close to your heart and out of danger.
1. Learn about Her Interests
Okay, no offense moms, but do you know what teenagers love to talk about more than anything? Themselves, and their interests. We care about how you are doing, of course, but you’re bound to lose your daughter’s interest pretty quickly if you talk mostly about your life. Figure out your daughter's interests; allow time to get to know who she is now if you want to practice one of the simplest ways to connect with your teenage daughter.
Once you’ve learned her interests, just sit back and listen to your daughter talk. Advice is great and important, but as a teen myself, most often I just want my mom to listen and feign understanding at the very least. If you can understand why the fact that Mary looked at Bobby when she knew your daughter liked him is the worst news since the Great Depression, then more power to you! But just listen to your daughter, and your relationship is sure to grow in the desired direction!
3. Sit down and Talk
When you and your daughter sense the need for two-way communication, sit down and talk. And I mean physically sit down. Because fleeting conversations with you standing in the kitchen and her walking up the stairs reveal nothing about either of your characters. How can you connect when your conversations are simply run-of-the mill “How was your day?” “Fine.” day after day?
4. Go out
Often times, teenagers just want to escape the world they’re living in, and a pretty big part of that is their living environment. Take your daughter out for ice cream, a mani-pedi, or some window shopping at your local mall. You’ll get to know each other doing mother-daughter activities she doesn’t think are “lame”, and you’ll have no choice but to talk to each other. Connecting with your daughter then becomes practically unavoidable!
5. Don’t Snoop
If there’s anything teenagers hate, it’s when their mother snoops. Deep down, your daughter knows that you’re just looking out for her best interests, but what it immediately and most directly communicates is that you don’t trust her, you’re willing to betray her, and you don’t respect her privacy. I know this isn’t true, and you know it isn’t, but the teenage brain works completely differently than an adult mind, so if you truly want to connect with your daughter, avoid snooping at all times!
6. Get to Know Her Friends
Teens are often more influenced by their friends than they are by their family members. Because of this, a way to understand your daughter without snooping is getting to know her friends. Don’t bother them incessantly when they desire privacy, but get a feel for the type of girls and guys they are so that you can get a well-rounded understanding of your daughter.
7. Be Available
There’s nothing I despise more than when I need to talk to my mom and she is unavailable. Being a teenager isn’t easy. It means crazy, unfamiliar emotions that will sneak up on you at any time. And teens need their moms at those times. If you’re busy or simply emotionally unavailable, with your mind on other things, your relationship with your daughter will be seriously damaged. So always make room for your daughter when she needs you.
I know connecting with your teenage daughter can be extremely difficult and at times, you may feel like you’re even losing her. But if you follow these tips, forming a healthy relationship with the apple of your eye can become a manageable task! How do you connect with your daughter?