Everyone knows that raising a teenage daughter is no simple task. I like to think that my mom got extremely lucky with me, but even though I’ve strived to be manageable, raising a teenage daughter is still raising a teenage daughter. Hopefully your teenager tries to make things relatively easy on your part, but regardless, here are a few things to keep in mind when dealing with the terrible teens.
1. Mood Swings
Raising a teenage daughter means dealing with and managing lots of mood swings. Mothers are used to dealing with mood swings, but pubescent girls are still getting the hang of things. So when her period starts, expect lots of mood swings, and pay attention to what triggers her highs and lows!
2. Silent Spells
Even though this is a critical stage of your daughter’s life, and she needs your input, she may not always realize that. She’ll give you the silent treatment, maybe because she thinks you’ve wronged her, or maybe for no reason at all. Either way, don’t take it too personally. Teenage girls like to think they can handle everything on their own, and they’ll try to do just that by cutting you off from their thoughts and feelings. But, at least most of the time, that isn’t your fault.
3. Know-it-all Attitude
You tell her to be careful and she says “I know, mom,” you tell her to work hard in school and she says “I know, mom.” You could explain string theory to her in great detail and she would still say the same three words: “I know, mom.” Teenage girls think they know everything, even though they know they don’t. It’s hard for us to admit that we’re ignorant of some things, so don’t be surprised when your daughter is reluctant to acknowledge you know more than she does.
4. More Spending
Between makeup, school, social outings and cars, teenage girls are expensive! Not to mention clothes and shoes begin to cost more, and shopping becomes many teens’ favorite pastime. If you feel like your daughter is emptying your wallet more than usual, don’t be too concerned. It’s okay to say no sometimes, especially to unnecessary privileges. It will teach your daughter, not harm her, and keep you from going bankrupt!
5. Constant Changes
When I started high school, I cut off all my hair and became a vegetarian. My mom was shocked and reluctant to let me do either of those things, but after raising three other teenagers, she knew that change was just part of the process. A teenager's main goal is to form an identity, and nearly everything your daughter does is to accomplish that. So expect change, and expect a lot of it when raising your teenage daughter!
Luckily, teenage get-togethers aren’t nearly as high maintenance as little girls’ slumber parties. You can let your daughter and her friends chill out in her room, only occasionally coming down and making a ruckus when they’re hungry or thirsty. However, you do have to be careful about your daughter’s friends and what they’re bringing into your house. Bad influences are everywhere, and while you don’t want to be nosy or distrusting, you don’t want those influences under your roof.
When your daughter isn’t giving you the silent treatment, she’ll be asking you questions. Most of them will be hypothetical, but still require you to think. Others will be about her future or your past. So be prepared for some hard-hitting questions, and have appropriate and helpful answers ready at all times.
8. Testing Limits
Teenage girls love to test the limits. You’ve set down the ground rules and your daughter knows good and well what they are, but every day she’ll wonder if they’ve changed. She’ll wonder what she can do today that she couldn’t do yesterday, but instead of asking she’ll simply test the limits. Look out for this and have your discipline prepared for what to do in that situation.
9. Love and Bonding
Last but not least, you and your teenage daughter will likely experience more love and bonding than ever before! You can have real, adult conversations now, discuss relationships and important life decisions, and share your interests. She’s your daughter and she’s blossoming into her own incredible young woman. There's nothing more amazing than watching that happen before your own eyes!
Raising a teenage daughter, you’ll experience a lot of unfamiliar and unwanted feelings. You may think that your daughter totally rejects you, and even dislikes you at times. But in truth, your daughter’s teenage years are a time for both of you to learn more about each other, and grow in your love for one another! What has raising a teenage daughter taught you? What are your concerns for raising a teenager daughter?