Have you ever wondered why teenagers shut you out? That is a common question that parents wonder. We love our children and want to be there for them no matter what they face. But from a teenager’s point of view, these are some of the reasons why teenagers shut you out.
1. They Need Privacy
One reason why teenagers shut you out is that they need privacy. Privacy is something that is important to teenagers. Think back to when you were this age. Most likely you felt the same way. It isn’t always any more complicated than this fact.
2. They Are Separating Themselves from You
As our children become teenagers they begin to separate themselves from their parent. They want to be their own person and have their own identity separate from their parents. This is a normal part of development. Most teenagers go through this to some degree. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love their parents or that they don’t want to be close to them. They simply need more space.
3. They Are Embarrassed to Talk to You
Sometimes your teenagers are embarrassed to talk to you. They may feel that you would think badly of them if they share about a situation they are going through. They may fear your reaction. They may feel that it is just too personal to share. All you can do is be there for them and assure them that you will always be there for them, no matter what the issue they are facing is.
4. They Think You Won’t Understand
You know, the truth is that parents are not teenagers. To your teenagers, this makes you seem like you cannot possibly understand what they are going through. They think you are too old or too far removed from their life to really get it. While we know that we remember the teenage years and that we were once teenagers ourselves, they don’t realize that. We can remind them of this fact but we cannot make them give us the benefit of the doubt.
5. They Think You Will Overreact
Many times, your teenager does not come to you because they think that you will overreact. They fear what you might say or do if they share what they are going through. They may have this fear because you overreacted before. It could also just be something they worry about with no reason to feel that way. This is another reason your teenager may choose to shut you out.
6. They Are Ashamed of Their Behavior
It is possible that your teenager is ashamed to talk to you. They may know that you wouldn’t have approved of whatever they did. They may think that you will think badly of them for making a poor choice. While we know that we love our children unconditionally, they may not understand that. All we can do is tell them that we will always love them and always be there for them. Then it is up to them to decide to come to us or not.
7. They Would Rather Talk to Another Adult
Sometimes your teenager would rather talk to another adult than come to you with something they are going through. If this is the situation and the adult is going to be someone that will give your child wise counsel, it isn’t always a bad thing. I know that we would all rather our teenagers come to us. I understand that because I have teenagers, too. But the main thing is that they are sharing with someone they trust that can point them in the right direction.
It is hard to understand when our teenagers shut us out. What do you think? Are these reasons spot on?