8 Reasons a Puppy Won't Prepare You for Motherhood ...

How can one prepare for Motherhood? Not with the purchase of a fur baby, that’s for sure. Just ask any mother out there if taking care of a puppy and a baby have any similarities. If something horrible happens to you while in mid sentence, it’s not my fault. Take it as a warning. Motherhood is a beautiful thing, comparing it to the care and love one must give a puppy is just ludicrous. Here is 8 reasons why I believe a puppy has not prepared me for motherhood.

1. A Puppy is Content Chewing on a Toy All Day…

(Your reaction) Thank you!

… where babies need a change of scenery every 15 minutes. Having said this; not all babies are this busy all the time, maybe it’s just me who got lucky. If you have in mind that the purchase of a few toys will prepare you for motherhood and keep them satisfied, you have another thing coming. Hopefully a toy store is in close proximity to your home, as you will be their buying the latest and greatest just to keep them smiling.

2. A Puppy Scratches at the Door to Be Let out…

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… a baby pees its pants and screams murder for how you let this tragedy happen. Changing diapers can be a science, and you will learn this all very quickly when doing it 10 times a day. Wish I could follow this up with an “only kidding” – no exaggeration here. Maybe stocks in Pampers was a better idea for investment then the condo and fur baby you were thinking about?

3. A Puppy Allows You to Pee in Privacy…

(Your reaction) Thank you!

… where a baby takes awkward staring to a whole new level while you do your business. You got that right, no leaving baby unattended for even 1 minute. You have no idea what can happen in 60 seconds. Let’s just say I have heard enough stories and seen enough YouTube videos to know better. Thank you “babies who painted their house with flour,” you’ve prepared me for motherhood.

4. A Puppy Can Be Left Alone…

(Your reaction) Thank you!

… where social services are called if you attempt at leaving baby while you hop out to the grocery store. Where you go… Baby goes! Don’t think that stops at going outdoors. The Bathroom, Shower, Kitchen, Bedroom, Laundry Room, taking out the Trash… you get my point. On the up side, you will never be alone again!

5. A Puppy Can Be Put outside when You Need Some Time to Yourself…

(Your reaction) Thank you!

… where putting your baby outdoors {while you scream into a pillow} will only get you dirty looks from the neighbors. Trust me, there will be a time that you will use your pillow for a use other than resting your head on. Motherhood comes along with lots of stressful times, but at the end of the day, I promise you won’t change it for the world.

6. Packing for Puppy Can Be Done in 1 Bag…

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… while packing for baby requires an empty trunk and a u-haul van. Just to give you an idea of what an overnight bag may look like when packing for baby {another way to prepare you for Motherhood}. Bottles, Distilled Water, Formula, Baby Food, Diapers, Wipes, Cream, Change Pad, Sleepers, 2 to 3 Outfits, Baby Monitor, Swaddle, Blankets, Jolly Jumper, Travel Crib, Baby Chair, Toys, Teddy Bear and Soothers. That’s just for baby, let alone packing for yourselves. That overnight trip never sounded fun anyway. Just stay home.

7. Puppy School Costs as Much as a Pair of Shoes at Target…

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… where Daycare costs a pair of Louboutin’s… every month! I don’t know how it is in the United States, but as for Canada a good Daycare costs about $1,800 to $2,500 a month. Apparently I chose the wrong profession.

8. Your Puppy Whines and You Pet to Comfort Her…

(Your reaction) Thank you!

… your baby cries and your mind goes wild on where she might be hurting or what disease she may have caught while you were out. Having a baby not only plays with your emotions, but toys with you mind and what confidence you have in yourself as a parent. I have never contemplated a decision as often as I have as a mother. It almost puts my morning routine in choosing an outfit to shame.

Now if this wasn’t a good enough dose of verbal Birth Control to prepare you for motherhood, then may I offer you my Teething 8 month old? Putting all jokes aside, motherhood is all that you dream and everything you don’t. To this day it’s my most favorite thing in the world… Motherhood is amazing. Now enough with comparing it to owning a pet – If you don’t change it’s diaper 10 times a day it’s nowhere near similar! Tell me what else makes motherhood more difficult that owning a pet?

Top Image Source: Gemma Booth

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